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She frowns at me and I try my hardest to keep a straight face. Don’t give anything away, stay calm, be normal.

My nerves are going haywire as we drive to Elena and Trevor’s. As soon as we pull up next to their house and see Elena come out the front door, they’re even worse.

“Come on, it’s fine. They’re going to be so happy, you’ll see.”

“But, what if... what if they don’t think I’ll be a good mom?”

Corey’s eyes become sad and he reaches over, cupping my face in his hands and his eyes not moving from mine.

“You know... there’s no such thing as a perfect mom. All you need to do is try your best, you’re gonna be amazing, Ava. Don’t ever doubt that.”

I blow out a big breath, causing his eyes to slam closed and I can’t help but chuckle at the face he makes.

Opening his eyes, he brings his face closer to mine and plants a soft kiss on my lips before pulling away and stepping out of the car.

I’m not sure I can keep this in until after dinner. I’m already stressing the hell out.

We all say our hello’s as we go into the big house and as soon as everyone is sat down, I just can’t stop it coming out of my mouth. The plan was to wait until everyone had eaten but that goes right out of the window.

“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out.

The room is silent for several seconds as all eyes turn to me and Corey then everyone is talking all at once.

“Yes!” Elena shouts, punching the air with her fist. “I’ve been waiting for another grand baby and it’s finally happening!”

I do this weird, smile, chuckle, snort, cry thing and relish in the feel of her arms as they come around me.

“I love you, Ava,” she says, pulling away.

“I love you too.” My smile stretches into a grin at the shock on her face.

Yeah, it’s taken me two years to say it but I finally have and now I’ve said it once, I fully intend to say it to every single person that I love.

Three and a half years later

My hands shake as I stand on the other side of the door, waiting for my turn. My breaths start to come in gasps and I can feel a buzzing in my ears as the seconds on the clock tick by.

If someone would have told me five years ago that this is where I would be right now, I would have told them they were crazy.

The last few years haven’t been easy by any stretch.

There have been up and downs, good times and bad, but the good times have been unforgettable.

I’m still plagued by the bad memories but they’re not half as bad, or as often, as they used to be and Corey has made it his life’s mission to replace all of the bad ones with good ones.

I’m healing, getting there slowly. I know it will always be there in the back of my mind but learning to live with it is something that I’ve come to terms with.

“Ready?” Jess asks, coming to stand next to me, her bouquet in her hands.

“Erm... yeah?”

She snorts, shaking her head and puffing out her chest, smiling wide when the giant wooden doors open.

The music starts and I watch her walk through the doors, my nerves going haywire at all of the people I can see.

I don’t think I can do this, not in front of all these people.

What if I trip and fall? What if I say the wrong thing?