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I considered on my back, spread-eagled, but then wondered if something like that was too much for Ruben. In fact, part of me wondered if he’d go running if I tried such a blatant come-on.

Well, it was my calves mostly, right?

I lay on my front, shimmying to ensure the robe covered everything. I wore nothing beneath it, since I hadn’t packed anything. Ruben had brought a bag that included a set of clothes for tomorrow for me—no idea where he’d gotten them, and I shuddered to think what he might have picked out—but he hadn’t mentioned pajamas so I wasn’t sure there were any.

The mattress dipped down beneath his weight when he sat on the edge, beside me. He’d undone a few of the buttons of his shirt and the sleeves were still rolled up, his jacket tossed over the back of the desk chair. He’d removed his shoes, leaving him in a pair of black socks. It made him appear far more casual than I was used to seeing him.

I wondered for a moment if he ever wore casual clothing. What would that look like? I couldn’t picture it.

Did I actually like him? The idea seemed strange to me.

Then he touched my calf for the first time, digging his thumbs into the aching muscles there, and I knew it—

No, I don’t fucking like this sadistic asshole!

Despite a quick kick that I’d wanted to hit him in the face with, he caught my ankle with his other hand and held it down. “I know it hurts, but it’ll feel better soon.”

“Like hell it will. I know that people guess a lot about my proclivities, but I can assure you, I’m not that much of a masochist.”

“Trust me.”

“Why should I? I remember when you made me do that lube delivery to the nymph orgy. Anyone who does that doesnotdeserve any sort of trust. Lube deliveries are not a trust-building activity.”

“I sent you there because I knew you could handle it. Believe it or not, I don’t coddle you like Galen or Kelvin. They both try to protect you from everything, to keep you away from the world. I knew from the start that you would need to have the skills to survive it on your own, so everything I’ve done as been to ensure you are strong enough to make it here, that you have the ability to protect yourself and not need me anymore.”

His words stilled my struggles as though they’d disconnected my pain receptors for a moment. I thought back to all the times he’d put me in situations that I wasn’t a huge fan of, the times he hadn’t rushed in when it would have been nice.

And…all the times I’d grown because of it. When I’d stood on my own and gone home—tired and hurting, at times, but on my own.

“Even those times, I never was too far. If I was worried you might not manage something, I never failed to have other things in play, to ensure that you were not entirely on your own. I know I can be difficult, that I can seem uncaring, but that isn’t how it is.”

The words were nice, but when he started working the muscle again, I had trouble believing him. Maybe he just got off on this.

Then again, who was I to fault anyone’s kinks?

So I bit my lip—though pained groans still left me—and tried to just accept the touch. Before I knew it, his words proved correct, as impossible as that seemed. It really did feel better.

The pain lessened each time he dug in, the knots looser.

“Roll over.” His voice came out husky and deep.

I froze.

“Your quads will be sore as well, and I can’t reach them like this.”

Oh.I shifted, rolling, feeling the aching through my thighs and ass—even up to my ribs from where I’d balanced on the ladders.

Maybe he had a point.

The robe remained tied securely around my front and fell low enough to not let anything show.

I could handle this, right? I wasn’t going to melt like some silly little virgin at a simple massage.

He dragged his fingertips over my knees, then down the sides to stroke the outer edge of my thigh.

And the moan I let out told me that was bullshit.

I sure as fuck wasn’t going to manage to resist shit.