Page 128

Done. see you at 7

Taylor pulled up in front of Avery’s apartment at seven on the dot, wearing her favorite pair of jeans, the ripped ones that were a little snug in the ass, and a black T-shirt with the sleeves cut off. She wondered what Avery would wear, what her favorite outfitwas, but the problem was that Avery had so many clothes that it was hard to figure out what her favorite outfit would be.

Taylor turned her car off and took a deep breath. She had a plan now, and she thought it was a good one, but it didn’t matter how good or romantic or sweeping or whatever her plan was if Avery didn’t feel the same way. She tried to act calm, she tried to be calm, but her heart was beating so fast it was like she was midway through running a marathon.

Well, she assumed it was like that; she knew nothing about actually running a marathon and wanted to keep it that way, but still.

“Hey!” she said in too high a voice when Avery opened her front door. And then she took a look at her. Her whole body relaxed, and her smile got wide. “You look incredible.”

Avery was wearing that snug black sundress with the spaghetti straps that she’d worn a few times that summer, most notably on the night they’d first kissed. It wasn’t like Taylor to remember something like that, but one thing that was burned in her memory from that night was sitting at the bar with Avery, staring at those tiny little straps, and wanting so badly to slide her fingers underneath them.

Did Avery remember she’d worn that dress that night? She hoped so. Avery was the type to remember things like that. But maybe she was only wearing it because it was her favorite dress.

Taylor leaned forward and kissed her. It felt so good to kiss her. Their bodies fit together so well. They hadn’t kissed for days, not since Sunday night. They hadn’t seen each other since then, which was probably the longest they’d gone since they’d started dating. She thought about that first kiss, how Avery had been hesitant to kiss her, to touch her, and then as soon as their lips had touched,she’d relaxed, grown more sure of herself. She’d been like that with everything, from dancing to painting to sex: anxious at first, needing a bit of encouragement, a little push to get started, and then as soon as she did, her confidence grew. She experimented, learned more, asked questions, messed up a few times, laughed, and then tried again and got better and better and more self-assured with each try.

That was one of the things she loved about Avery: Yeah, she was scared to take risks, to try new things, to push herself, but once she’d committed to doing it, she was all in. She didn’t pretend she had all the answers, she let herself stumble, and then she would get back up and try again without being ashamed of herself for trying, and she would get better at it. That was something that Taylor could learn from Avery, actually. She tended to be too cocky, too convinced that she knew all the answers, when half the time she was crossing her fingers and hoping she was right.

She made herself pull back from the kiss. She couldn’t get distracted tonight. At least, not right now.

“God, you look amazing,” she said.

Avery smiled at her. “You already said that.” She lifted her thumb and brushed it over Taylor’s lips. “Rookie move—I already put lipstick on before you got here.”

Taylor shook her head.

“Rookie move, indeed. Are you ready?”

Avery nodded.

“Let me just put my shoes on.”

She slid her feet into flat sandals and grabbed her purse from the hook by the door.

“Where are we off to?” Avery asked as they walked toward the car.

Taylor threw what she hoped was an amused smile in Avery’s direction, but her heart was beating wildly again.

“You think it’s going to be that easy?” she asked.

Avery laughed, but it was her nervous laugh, the same one she’d used when they were at trivia that night around her friends, before she’d gotten more comfortable with them. Taylor wondered why.

“It’s never that easy, but I keep trying,” she said.

They were both quiet once they got into the car. Taylor thought of asking how she was doing, how dinner with Beth was, how work had been that week, but she was so full of what she needed to say to Avery, what she wanted to say to Avery, that she couldn’t make small talk. Yes, she cared about how Avery’s work was going, and yes, she cared about her garden and her gardening friend, but she couldn’t ask her any of that, she couldn’t talk about any of that, until she told Avery how she felt. When the big talk was all that consumed her mind, when the need to do the big talk was overwhelming her, small talk seemed ridiculous, unnatural. She had to get the big talk over with first.

Later—if things went well—she would tell Avery that maybe she had a point about small talk.

She pulled into a parking spot—not the exact space she’d wanted, but one a few spots down from it, and turned off the car.

“Okay, we’re here,” she said.

Avery got out of the car and looked up and down the street. They were back in downtown Napa.

“Oh, are we going back there?” she asked, pointing to the place they’d gone to the night of the flirting midterm.

Taylor shook her head.

“Nope, but good guess.” Avery glared at her, but a tiny smiledanced around the corners of her eyes. “After this long, you still think I’m going to tell you any more than that until we get there?”