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“That doesn’t mean you’re bound to be the same.” Houston plopped his pack in his seat.
“But Iamthe same. I fought my own brother. And he was just trying to help me.”
“Help you how?” Charlie asked.
“He was the one that told me I needed help. I didn’t take it very well. I could blame it on the oxycodone-induced haze, but the truth is I was just really messed up and Will made a convenient target.”
“You beat him up?” Hammer asked.
“Psh. Yeah, right. I got one solid hit. Will took it easy on me, but I still landed flat on my back.” As soon as his head had cleared enough to realize what he’d done, he’d been eaten up with remorse, but it was too late. The damage had been done. Dani had helped him to his feet, his nose bleeding. The twins hadstared at him like he’d torn every shred of faith they had in him. Will had just stared at him, jaw taut, eyes filled with something like pity.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever known such shame.” Dakota’s voice dropped to almost nothing.
“So that’s the regret you carry around.” Kane said it like he might actually understand.
Dakota didn’t say anything. Of course he carried that regret around.
He might’ve kicked the pill-popping habit, but nothing was going to cure him of being that hotheaded kid. He was Buck Masterson’s son, after all. So Allie was smart to leave now, before he dragged her down further.
“Look, we all have a past. But I see you studying that Bible before you go to sleep at night. Isn’t there something about forgiveness in there, Houston? You’re a pastor, right?” Kane asked.
Dakota knew all the verses. “Yeah, I know I’m forgiven but…I dunno. I’ve got a lot to make up for. I want to be a better example for my nephews, prove to my brother that all that he’s invested in me isn’t a waste. To show God that I’m grateful. And to show people that I’m nothing like my father.”
“Maybe you’re so busy trying to prove something that you’ve forgotten who your heavenly Father is. He fought for you. Chose you. And all your sin, not just some of it, has been paid for and taken away. Instead of trying so hard to pay back the grace you’ve been given, why don’t you simply receive it for the gift it is?”
Houston’s words landed with an impact.
Was that what Dakota was doing? Trying to earn the grace of God? Because, yes, it felt very much like it was up to him to prove to the world he was more like his heavenly Father than his earthly one.
“And about Allie?” Kane spoke up. “You’re an idiot. You like her. You should fight for her.”
“What do you know about it?”
“I know a little about how regret can erode a man from the inside. How finding a good woman, a brave woman, a woman who sees something inside a guy like me, is a rare gift. And I know this because I was an idiot too. I let the woman I love slip away. You still have time to make this right with Allie.”
“She left.”
“Tell me, is she leaving because she doesn’t like you, or is she leaving because she’s scared?”
“I thought she liked me. But…she’s got her own past she’s grappling with.”
“Then she’s probably running away. Don’t let her. Tell her you’ll wait.”
“It’s not that easy. I don’t have a car.”
“You can take my truck when we get back. I’m driving it to the site. See you in a bit.” He strode away to his black Silverado.
Maybe Kane was right. Maybe his knee-jerk reaction was pushing her away mostly to protect himself.
But before he could do anything, they had a fire to put out.
TWELVE
Allie slappedthe freshly printed paper with Scout’s picture on the telephone pole and stapled it down.
She released a shuddery breath. With one hand, she reached for a tissue in her pocket and wiped her nose. But rather than drying up the tears, the farther Allie walked down the sidewalk in town, the worse they got.
Her phone rang. Oh, she was such a fool for hoping it was him. She jammed the papers and stapler in the messenger bag and pulled out her new cell.