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Holy shit! There’s no level of parental relief quite like when your kid comes home and says he has a new friend. And since this kid’s been vetted by Alana, I’m sure he’s nice.

I take his backpack off his shoulder and drop it by the door. “And what’s his name?”

“Drew. He’s in my class. We’re eating lunch together.” Ian’s dusty blond hair falls flat on his face. He grins like a mischievous gnome. “He doesn’t know I speak English.”

“But you do.”

He raises his finger to his lips and says, “Shhhhh. Let’s see how long we can keep it going.”

“That’s gonna backfire on you.”

He rubs his hands together like an old-timey villain. “No, it’s going to be funny.”

When Uri comes in a few minutes later, Ian runs over to him and announces, “I made a friend!”

Uri throws his arms around Ian and says, “That’s great! I’m so proud of you.”

“And Lance says I need a new name. I’m Werewolf.”

“Very cool.” He pats Ian on the back and says, “Hey, I need to talk to Uncle Dimitri for a few minutes. Can you go to your room?”

Ian nods, grabs his Switch that Alana bought him for his birthday, and closes his door.

Uri turns to me and says, “I did something this weekend.” He blushes. “Or someone. But you can’t tell Waverly.”

“Why would I tell Waverly? Was it her boyfriend?”

Uri sneers. “It’s bad enough she’s dating Adam, that piece of shit, and the guy who broke her heart is still alive. Her luck with men is dubious at best. And if she found out who I was with, she’d be blinded with jealousy. We’d never be the same again.”

“Do I know this person?”

“Not directly.”

“Was he good to you? Kind, and treated you with respect?”

Uri blushes and nods. “Yes.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“No.”

“Why not?” I feel like it’s a question I need to ask. Otherwise, what the hell am I doing here?

“He was very clear—one weekend.”

“Then tell me no more. I know all that matters about him.” I shrug. “Besides, I’m shit at keeping secrets.”

“It’s a good thing your girlfriend is a spy.”

“Point proven. If I was really good at it”—I move my hand in a slow arch—“you’d never know.”

“Can we get back to what’s really important? Me.” Uri walks toward the kitchen. “This guy I hooked up with said since I’m‘new to this whole thing,’ before I hop into a serious relationship, I need training wheels.”

“Hmm, there’s a few guys at the club who might be able to help you, training wheels and such. Did Alana’s friend’s Gay for Beginners app ever get launched?”

“Not sure, and don’t care.” But Uri gets shy and turns away. “I need more time to think about it.”

That’s the thing about Uri—he’s quick to action for someone else, but he’s paralyzed by his own fear for himself.