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Maurice. Proposal. Okay, I could wing this.

“Well, I thought it was… sweet.”

“Sweet?”

“Yeah, sweet. Didn’t you? Proposals are always sweet.”

She narrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head. “I’ve never thought of them that way, but I guess, they could kinda be seen as sweet. Considering they’re trying to win you over.”

“Of course.”

“So are you going to say yes?” she asked.

I almost dropped my champagne tube again. “What? Me?”

“Well the decision rests with you of course. You are the creative director.”

Ohhh, right. A business proposal. Not a marriage proposal. Duh, Kelli! I cleared my throat. “I’ll, ah, have to discuss it with Will and have a long hard think about it.”

“Right, well I look forward to your decision.” She smiled and turned away, greeting a man dressed as a sandwich. A sandwich, can you believe it?

Will, er… Superman strode back to me, one arm outstretched and his fingers curled into a fist as though he was flying. I couldn’t help but giggle. “Party’s off to a great start, isn’t it? The costumes are fantastic,” he said.

I nodded, but with all these strange people surrounding me I felt overwhelmed and out of place. “Hey, how about we have the birthday cake now and get it out of the way. What do you say?” I longed for the flicker of birthday candles and the smell of melting wax, the precursor to making my wish and hopefully going back home. It had been kinda cool to experience the technology of the future, but my legs ached, my brain hurt, my boobs were painfully compressed to within an inch of their life and I was tired of putting on a facade. I was ready for home.

“Don’t even think about it, the cake will be the highlight of the evening, so naturally we’ll leave it until the end of the party. You’ll just have to wait.” Will tapped me on the nose like a child wanting to open their presents on Christmas Eve.

“But–”

“No buts, just enjoy the next few hours and before you know it the cake will be in front of you, and you can officially kiss forty-nine goodbye.”

Goodbye? Forty-nine and I had never officially said hello. And a few hours? Oh man, now my countdown had to start all over again. I pouted and sighed, but Will didn’t notice as another guest arrived and took his attention.

Okay, I could do this. I’d been to my fair share of parties before, I just had to remember the Three Golden Rules and I’d be fine:

1. Smile and nod regularly during conversation, even if you have no idea what the person is talking about.

2. Always have a glass in hand (or in this case, a test tube).

3. And NEVER stand directly underneath fluorescent lights.

There. Easy peasy. A haze of white swam towards me. “The house looks great, doesn’t it?” the ghostly Elaine said. “Ryan is so talented. I’m going to get him to style my place when he’s finished university. If I can afford it.” She looked at me hopefully.

“Oh, well of course we’d give you a discount, Elaine.”

“Oh, thanks.” She placed a hand on her tulle heart and sighed. “You and Will are so lucky.”

“What do you mean?” My champagne tube hesitated near my mouth as I awaited an answer.

“I was watching you two before. He’s just as much in love with you now as he’s always been. You’re very lucky.” We both glanced at Will who was comparing fake muscles with someone dressed as The Hulk, even though Max Sheldon outdid them both hands down with his natural muscles.

“Um, thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“You know what, Kel? I often wonder… if I could go back in time and make different decisions, would Peter and I still be together? If I’d followed my dreams instead of casting them aside in the hope of being the perfect wife and mother, maybe I wouldn’t have resented him and myself and things would be different. I just wish I knew.”

Elaine was more deserving of a fast forward than me, or in her case, a fast backward, or a random rewind or something like that, so she could live the life she’d wanted and possibly save her marriage. Why was this phenomenon wasted on me? “What were your dreams, Elaine?”

“You know, become a chef and open a restaurant, or even a little cake shop with cake decorating classes on weekends, make beautiful wedding cakes, birthday cakes, the lot. But Peter’s important job with the police department and his unpredictable schedule would have made it impossible to manage that plus the kids, and it’s not like we could have afforded a nanny.” She took a swig of champagne. “It was easier to put my cooking skills to use in the home. Sometimes I wonder though, if my family knew how good they had it. How good they have it.”