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I paused. “Is that what you thought when she and I broke up?”
My mother sighed. “Rex, please. You’re my darling boy, but Donny is Donny. He’ll be back to playing football, and Blair will be by his side, and everything will be perfect.”
“Everything willlookperfect. On the outside.”
“Same thing!”
I blinked at her, and it was as if a veil was lifted from my eyes. Was that what she thought? I opened my mouth to respond, then closed it again. What was the point? My mother was convinced that staying married to my father had been the right thing to do. She’d stayed with him to keep up appearances, because that’s what really mattered to her.
That’s what really mattered to Blair.
And I realized that some of the blame that I’d laid at my father’s feet belonged to my mother. They both stayed in their toxic marriage. They both contributed to the dynamic. My father’s resentment made us feel like we were walking on eggshells all the time. His anger was explosive, and I bore the brunt of it. Then he died, and I carried on holding us together.
For what?
For my mom to save her precious reputation? For her to be able to force Donny into the same misery?
Abigail’s words came back to me. She’d told me that Donny needed to take care of his own problems, that it wasn’t my responsibility to save him all the time. She was right. Of course she was right. But I couldn’t just cut Donny off when we’d grown up in that house together. When he was under the same pressure as I was to pretend that everything was okay.
“I need to go,” I told my mother, and raced down the stairs.
That’s when my phone buzzed. Donny’s name flashed on the screen.Hey. In the coat check. Just saw Blair. Need to talk to you.
Finally, I knew where my brother was. Relief spilled over me for a split second before my limbs were moved by adrenaline. Was he okay? Had he come to his senses and broken up with Blair? Would this all be over soon so I could get back to Abigail?
God—Abigail. I needed to talk to her too. My heart beat hard at the base of my throat, my breaths unsteady and harsh. Everything was just a little too much right now. My vision shimmered at the edges, and I felt like everything was going to fall apart.
Just like when Dad died. Unless I held the world uptogether with my own hands, it would crumble. Unless Ifixed this, nothing would be right. I had to work and work and work and rush around and coddle and sacrifice—and only when everything was okay again, I could think about myself.
With wide strides, I made my way downstairs and around the corner to the coat check. I charged in, my eyes set on seeing Donny there in his tux. But there was no tux, only a woman in a wedding gown.
I stopped short. “Blair?” She turned around with tears streaking down her cheeks. I blinked. “Where’s Donny?”
She stepped closer and her chin trembled. “He left.”
So he’d done it. He’d ended things with Blair. Mom was not going to be happy. And neither were Blair’s two million followers.
But Donny would be. It might be difficult for a while, but eventually, he’d find the right girl for him and he’d move on. I wanted that for him. I wanted him to find the right woman, because for the first time in my life, I knew what that felt like. I had found the right woman in Abigail. My perfect match.
“What did he say?” I asked, eager to hear more about my little brother’s act of bravery. Just knowing that he did it inspired me to take the leap too. I need to get to Gabe.
Blair brushed her cheeks clean. “It’s not what he said. It’s what I said.”
Huh? “And what didyousay?”
“I told him the truth,” she started with a distinct look in her eyes. A look I couldn’t quite trust. “I told him that ever since we arrived in New Elwood, I’ve realized that I made a mistake. And I feel so foolish. How could I not see it before?”
My heart was still beating weirdly. I couldn’t focus onBlair’s words. I needed to talk to Donny, then Abigail, then Gabe. I shook my head. “See what?”
“You, T. You,” she said, but I wasn’t following. Or maybe I just didn’t want to follow. She blinked at me, big eyes full of tears. Her chin wobbled. “You’re not just the best man. You’re the only man. I don’t know why it took me this long to see it. I never should’ve left you. I should’ve been with you. I should be marrying you.”
Shenever should have leftme? I distinctly remembered that conversation, when we sat down in the coffee shop that used to be where Magnolia was now, and I told her that I didn’t think we should be together. That we wanted different things.
Now, as Blair teetered toward me on her wedding day heels, I didn’t know what to say. All I knew was that she was wrong. There was no scenario in which I would ever be back with her. I’d found my person. And if she could be honest with herself for ten fucking seconds, maybe she’d see that. “Blair, I?—”
She stepped up to me and placed her finger on my lips. “Shh! You don’t have to say anything. I love you too.”
Love? I didn’t love Blair. But before I could utter those words, she quickly replaced her finger with her lips. Shock made me freeze for a split second. Her overpowering perfume engulfed me as I felt her lipstick on my mouth.
My mother sighed. “Rex, please. You’re my darling boy, but Donny is Donny. He’ll be back to playing football, and Blair will be by his side, and everything will be perfect.”
“Everything willlookperfect. On the outside.”
“Same thing!”
I blinked at her, and it was as if a veil was lifted from my eyes. Was that what she thought? I opened my mouth to respond, then closed it again. What was the point? My mother was convinced that staying married to my father had been the right thing to do. She’d stayed with him to keep up appearances, because that’s what really mattered to her.
That’s what really mattered to Blair.
And I realized that some of the blame that I’d laid at my father’s feet belonged to my mother. They both stayed in their toxic marriage. They both contributed to the dynamic. My father’s resentment made us feel like we were walking on eggshells all the time. His anger was explosive, and I bore the brunt of it. Then he died, and I carried on holding us together.
For what?
For my mom to save her precious reputation? For her to be able to force Donny into the same misery?
Abigail’s words came back to me. She’d told me that Donny needed to take care of his own problems, that it wasn’t my responsibility to save him all the time. She was right. Of course she was right. But I couldn’t just cut Donny off when we’d grown up in that house together. When he was under the same pressure as I was to pretend that everything was okay.
“I need to go,” I told my mother, and raced down the stairs.
That’s when my phone buzzed. Donny’s name flashed on the screen.Hey. In the coat check. Just saw Blair. Need to talk to you.
Finally, I knew where my brother was. Relief spilled over me for a split second before my limbs were moved by adrenaline. Was he okay? Had he come to his senses and broken up with Blair? Would this all be over soon so I could get back to Abigail?
God—Abigail. I needed to talk to her too. My heart beat hard at the base of my throat, my breaths unsteady and harsh. Everything was just a little too much right now. My vision shimmered at the edges, and I felt like everything was going to fall apart.
Just like when Dad died. Unless I held the world uptogether with my own hands, it would crumble. Unless Ifixed this, nothing would be right. I had to work and work and work and rush around and coddle and sacrifice—and only when everything was okay again, I could think about myself.
With wide strides, I made my way downstairs and around the corner to the coat check. I charged in, my eyes set on seeing Donny there in his tux. But there was no tux, only a woman in a wedding gown.
I stopped short. “Blair?” She turned around with tears streaking down her cheeks. I blinked. “Where’s Donny?”
She stepped closer and her chin trembled. “He left.”
So he’d done it. He’d ended things with Blair. Mom was not going to be happy. And neither were Blair’s two million followers.
But Donny would be. It might be difficult for a while, but eventually, he’d find the right girl for him and he’d move on. I wanted that for him. I wanted him to find the right woman, because for the first time in my life, I knew what that felt like. I had found the right woman in Abigail. My perfect match.
“What did he say?” I asked, eager to hear more about my little brother’s act of bravery. Just knowing that he did it inspired me to take the leap too. I need to get to Gabe.
Blair brushed her cheeks clean. “It’s not what he said. It’s what I said.”
Huh? “And what didyousay?”
“I told him the truth,” she started with a distinct look in her eyes. A look I couldn’t quite trust. “I told him that ever since we arrived in New Elwood, I’ve realized that I made a mistake. And I feel so foolish. How could I not see it before?”
My heart was still beating weirdly. I couldn’t focus onBlair’s words. I needed to talk to Donny, then Abigail, then Gabe. I shook my head. “See what?”
“You, T. You,” she said, but I wasn’t following. Or maybe I just didn’t want to follow. She blinked at me, big eyes full of tears. Her chin wobbled. “You’re not just the best man. You’re the only man. I don’t know why it took me this long to see it. I never should’ve left you. I should’ve been with you. I should be marrying you.”
Shenever should have leftme? I distinctly remembered that conversation, when we sat down in the coffee shop that used to be where Magnolia was now, and I told her that I didn’t think we should be together. That we wanted different things.
Now, as Blair teetered toward me on her wedding day heels, I didn’t know what to say. All I knew was that she was wrong. There was no scenario in which I would ever be back with her. I’d found my person. And if she could be honest with herself for ten fucking seconds, maybe she’d see that. “Blair, I?—”
She stepped up to me and placed her finger on my lips. “Shh! You don’t have to say anything. I love you too.”
Love? I didn’t love Blair. But before I could utter those words, she quickly replaced her finger with her lips. Shock made me freeze for a split second. Her overpowering perfume engulfed me as I felt her lipstick on my mouth.
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