Page 100
He nodded. “You’re welcome. I’m just glad I was on duty when we got the call.”
“What are you doing on duty? I figured you’d be?—”
“Recovering from my stint in jail?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged, eyes sliding away. “What, did Blair bail you out?”
“No. And I’d rather rot in jail than accept anything from her.”
I glanced down at Winston and hummed as I stroked his fur. Uncharacteristically, he seemed happy to stay snuggled against my chest. Maybe once I moved inside, he’d be jumping away and acting like the king of his domain once again.
But he was rattled.
A little like me.
“Abigail—”
“Look, Rex, I appreciate all this,” I said, waving a hand toward the tree and the fire truck. “But I think it’s best if you leave.”
He stood still, watching me. “You know I didn’t kiss her, right?”
I was so tired. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed for another few days and let the world pass me by. I couldn’t take much more of this. I’d let Rex in, and I’d ended up hurt. I should’ve known that would happen. I wanted to be like Evelyn, but it just didn’t seem worth it.
“It doesn’t matter if she’s the one who kissed you, Rex.”
“How could it not matter?” He spread his arms, taking a step toward me.
It was too much. The hurt inside me compressed to a hard ball, and words exploded out of me. “Because you walked away! You heard my brother saying those things about me—about us—and you turned around and walked away because I wasn’t important enough to defend.”
“That’s not?—”
“That’s exactly what happened!” My voice echoed against the nearby houses. I closed my eyes and buried my face in Winston’s fur, inhaling deeply. Calmer, I looked up and met Rex’s gaze. “I’m tired, Rex. Let’s just…leave it.”
“Leave it? That’s it? I meant nothing to you?”
“It doesn’t matter what you meant to me,” I replied, and it was true. My pain hadn’t mattered when I was eleven years old, wondering if it was my fault that my parents’ marriage had broken down. My pain hadn’t mattered when my own marriage fell apart. That time, people were pretty clear when they told me that most of the blame rested with me.
And this was my fault too. I’d expected too much.
“I just want this night to be over,” I said as I turned toward my house.
“I love you, Abigail.”
My steps froze. The words clanged through me, and I wondered if I’d misheard. I didn’t turn to look at him as I stood on the lawn, waiting.
“I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. I was afraid of admitting it, because I didn’t think you’d care, and I didn’t want to lose my friendship with Gabe.”
I couldn’t believe Rex. Not when this had all changed too fast. When he’d denied his feelings for me over and over again. With my back to Rex and Winston rumbling in my arms, I stared at the porch light ahead and wondered if I should simply walk toward it.
“Abigail.”
Despite myself, I turned to face him.
“You’ve made me see that I can’t always be the guy who puts himself last. My priorities have been all screwed up. But if you’ll let me, I’ll prioritize you, Abigail. I’ll do anything for you.”
Pretty words. Empty promises. But I knew I was always better off on my own. I shook my head. “I don’t need you, Rex.”
His face crumpled. “I don’t want you to need me. I want you towantme, Abigail. I love you.”
“What are you doing on duty? I figured you’d be?—”
“Recovering from my stint in jail?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged, eyes sliding away. “What, did Blair bail you out?”
“No. And I’d rather rot in jail than accept anything from her.”
I glanced down at Winston and hummed as I stroked his fur. Uncharacteristically, he seemed happy to stay snuggled against my chest. Maybe once I moved inside, he’d be jumping away and acting like the king of his domain once again.
But he was rattled.
A little like me.
“Abigail—”
“Look, Rex, I appreciate all this,” I said, waving a hand toward the tree and the fire truck. “But I think it’s best if you leave.”
He stood still, watching me. “You know I didn’t kiss her, right?”
I was so tired. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed for another few days and let the world pass me by. I couldn’t take much more of this. I’d let Rex in, and I’d ended up hurt. I should’ve known that would happen. I wanted to be like Evelyn, but it just didn’t seem worth it.
“It doesn’t matter if she’s the one who kissed you, Rex.”
“How could it not matter?” He spread his arms, taking a step toward me.
It was too much. The hurt inside me compressed to a hard ball, and words exploded out of me. “Because you walked away! You heard my brother saying those things about me—about us—and you turned around and walked away because I wasn’t important enough to defend.”
“That’s not?—”
“That’s exactly what happened!” My voice echoed against the nearby houses. I closed my eyes and buried my face in Winston’s fur, inhaling deeply. Calmer, I looked up and met Rex’s gaze. “I’m tired, Rex. Let’s just…leave it.”
“Leave it? That’s it? I meant nothing to you?”
“It doesn’t matter what you meant to me,” I replied, and it was true. My pain hadn’t mattered when I was eleven years old, wondering if it was my fault that my parents’ marriage had broken down. My pain hadn’t mattered when my own marriage fell apart. That time, people were pretty clear when they told me that most of the blame rested with me.
And this was my fault too. I’d expected too much.
“I just want this night to be over,” I said as I turned toward my house.
“I love you, Abigail.”
My steps froze. The words clanged through me, and I wondered if I’d misheard. I didn’t turn to look at him as I stood on the lawn, waiting.
“I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. I was afraid of admitting it, because I didn’t think you’d care, and I didn’t want to lose my friendship with Gabe.”
I couldn’t believe Rex. Not when this had all changed too fast. When he’d denied his feelings for me over and over again. With my back to Rex and Winston rumbling in my arms, I stared at the porch light ahead and wondered if I should simply walk toward it.
“Abigail.”
Despite myself, I turned to face him.
“You’ve made me see that I can’t always be the guy who puts himself last. My priorities have been all screwed up. But if you’ll let me, I’ll prioritize you, Abigail. I’ll do anything for you.”
Pretty words. Empty promises. But I knew I was always better off on my own. I shook my head. “I don’t need you, Rex.”
His face crumpled. “I don’t want you to need me. I want you towantme, Abigail. I love you.”
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