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We were both silent for a few minutes, and my eyes closed. The shadows danced slowly around us, murmuring softly and unhappily as they spoke around my pain.

“Can you hear them whisper?” I asked to Lavee after a bit of time had passed, opening my eyes. “The shadows, I mean.”

She shook her head, and her gaze grew a bit wistful. “Sometimes I feel the darkness warm, and welcome me. It draws me in, calling me home. But my magic is of Laith’s variety, not yours.”

Hmm.

The way she felt her magic was kind of intriguing.

“What about Jesh?”

She shrugged. “We don’t talk about our magic together. I don’t remember the last time we discussed anything other than Namir, honestly. I just can’t take the pain.”

Her words made me hurt for her. “I’m sorry.”

“As am I.” She gave me a ghost of a smile, before tilting her head back against the trunk and closing her eyes. “I see why you came here. It’s peaceful, and quiet, and safe.”

My heart squeezed at that. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” She paused. “Other than the part where you’ve got to shit in the forest.”

I snorted. “I’ve shit in much worse places.”

A laugh shook her shoulders. “I believe you.”

My lips were curved upward as I stared out at the trees in front of me.

We had just joked about my time in prison. I’d never done that—not once, in my entire life. Vena, Akari, and I had helped each other survive, but we hadn’t been living. We hadn’t been laughing. We hadn’t been… enjoying.

But I enjoyed Lavee’s company.

And I had really enjoyed Namir’s, while that had lasted.

“I think he really was trying to protect you, if that means anything,” she added a few minutes later, though her voice was quieter.

“I know.” My arms wrapped slowly around my abdomen. “But that doesn’t change what he did.”

“It doesn’t,” she admitted.

More silence followed the agreement, until Lavee broke it again.

“What are you considering, for your future? A place in the circus? Think of all the name possibilities for a woman who can turn into a shadow wolf. Shady Lady. Smoke Poke. Shadow… shit, what rhymes shadow? Baddow?”

“That’s definitely not a word,” I said, with a snort.

She flashed me a grin. “Shadow Baddow it is.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, and it felt good to do so. “I’m not joining a circus. I’ve thought about going after my friends who were in prison with me—Vena and Akari. We didn’t know anything about the kings, but Vena was going after Laith, so she’s probably in danger. Though, she possesses his magic, so he can’t kill her.”

Lavee nodded. “A trip into the dark city? That could be fun.”

I shrugged. “Could be. I’m also considering just… leaving.”

Lavee blinked at me.

“I can turn to shadow, now. Even Namir couldn’t track me, I don’t think. Leaving the city and finding a new place to live where I can just be a seamstress or something sounds nice. A fresh start would be incredible,” I admitted.

“Damn, girl.”