Page 43
Story: Empire of Ache & Ruin
“What will I tell Hunter?” I meet Dad’s gaze. It’s so full of regret, and it completely guts me.
“I will deal with him.” He opens the door and ushers me out into the corridor.
Just as Dad said, the hall is empty. Not a single soul from before remains. I use Dad for support, leaning on his frame more than I want to. My mind goes blank. I can’t get myself to fully process what’s happening to me right now. When I try to look ahead into my future, and think about what tomorrow will be, I come back empty. I have no idea who will buy me. And worst of all, I have no idea what they intend to do with me.
“Go on.” Dad stops at the side of the stage where merely four hours ago, I stood next to Pierre ready to give the performance of my life. I had no idea my world would change this much, this fast. I went from being the Swan Queen to now awaiting my own auction. Then it finally clicks.
I’m being sold to the highest bidder. The performance of my life ends with an auction where men will bid for my virginity. Suddenly, the gravity of the entire day crushes down on me and I crumble to my knees. Dad catches my elbow, but not before I hit the wooden planks. Pain shoots up my leg, and I see stars.
“I can’t breathe.” I claw at his sleeve.
“I got you.” He holds me tight. “One breath at a time.”
Why does it have to be this way? Why did Archer choose not to help us? I don’t want to live with a stranger for six months. I don’t want to be owned by someone I didn’t choose. I feel naked and dirty.
“Paloma,” Dad whispers. “It’s time.” He helps me up, then walks off.
I lift my gaze to ask him to stay with me, but he’s gone.
Mindlessly, I take the stage for one last time tonight. When I reach the center, I look up to the first row, wishing Sole was still there. But she’s gone. So is Archer. Instead, row after row is filled with men clad in dark suits. To my horror, I recognize a lot of the faces. Some of them have even attended parties at my father’s house. I’m shocked that they think of me, their friend’s only daughter, in a sexual way. That they’re here because they know I’ve never been touched by another man, and they want to be the first.
Whatever you do, I tell myself,don’t fall.Don’t show them you’re scared. They can own your body, but never your soul. That’s for me to keep locked away, where no one can sully it with their money and their desires.
“Gentlemen.” A man I’ve never seen in my life walks on stage holding a microphone up to his lips. “As promised. The Swan Queen.”
My body sways, threatening to collapse again. But I lift my head high and choose a spot on the ceiling, so I don’t have to look at the audience.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” the man asks, giving me a lewd glance. He clears his throat, putting the microphone behind him. “Do you want to take off any layers?”
I’m still wearing the white swan costume with the feather shawl over my shoulders and a tutu that, at least, covers my crotch. Even removing my headpiece feels degrading at this point. I shake my head without looking at him.
“The bid will start at one million,” the man says.
In my peripheral, I see several paddles go up. Without meaning to, I peek down and spot Dad’s friend who lives a few miles from our house. He’s in his late seventies. His daughter has a kid who’s just a few years younger than me. I fist my hands and hide them in the feathers of my tutu.
“Do we have one point five?” the man on stage with me asks. “Ah, thank you. How about two million? Remember the winner tonight will earn the privilege of marrying a virgin.” He pauses for effect. “You’re going to have to take the Senator’s word for it on that one. I was not allowed to check for myself. Trust me I asked.” He laughs at his own joke. The man is gross with greasy hair and a cheap suit. For whatever reason, he’s enjoying this. Why? He doesn’t even know me. “Do we have two point five?”
Still several paddles go up in the air.
Then it hits me. His words. Did he say marry? My eyes widen in horror as I scan the crowd looking for Dad. I find him up in his box with Chuck and Hunter by his side. He lied to me. He said the deal was for only six months. The lights get brighter and make it hard for me to focus. I blink several times, but it’s no use. Everything is blurry. I make the effort to inhale, but the air doesn’t touch my lungs.
“I think she’s getting excited.” The man laughs again. “Do I have?—”
“Five million,” Archer calls from the back of the house. “End this ridiculous farce already.”
“Five point five.” Dad’s friend raises his paddle.
The man next to me is finally rendered speechless as his gaze darts between Dad’s friend and Archer. Archer takes his time reaching the front row, then turns to face the man with the winning bid. “Six million.” He bares his teeth. “If you say another word, I will cut out your tongue, old man.”
Red blotches creep up the old man’s face. He shoots Archer a furious glare, but he has to know he’s no match for Archer. Archer stands his ground, hands balled into fists. Dad’s friend looks my way as if to decide whether or not I’m worth him losing his tongue over. After what feels like hours, he finally concedes with a curt nod.
Archer turns to the rest of the men. “Get the fuck out. All of you.” When all they do is look at each other in confusion, Archer raises his voice. “Get. The. Fuck. Out. NOW.”
Next to me, the man with the microphone stands there looking at Archer with sheer terror in his eyes. Yeah, Archer looks like he’s ready to murder anyone who stands in his way.
“You should go,” I say to the man.
He hesitates but then scampers off the second Archer jumps up on stage. His chest rises and falls as he comes to stand in front of me. Tears pelt down my cheek, my lip trembling. He’s still fuming, and I have no idea why. Is he mad at me for choosing this route to help Dad? He can’t judge me like that. I came to him for help first and he refused me. I offered myself to him first. He’s the one who turned me away.
“I will deal with him.” He opens the door and ushers me out into the corridor.
Just as Dad said, the hall is empty. Not a single soul from before remains. I use Dad for support, leaning on his frame more than I want to. My mind goes blank. I can’t get myself to fully process what’s happening to me right now. When I try to look ahead into my future, and think about what tomorrow will be, I come back empty. I have no idea who will buy me. And worst of all, I have no idea what they intend to do with me.
“Go on.” Dad stops at the side of the stage where merely four hours ago, I stood next to Pierre ready to give the performance of my life. I had no idea my world would change this much, this fast. I went from being the Swan Queen to now awaiting my own auction. Then it finally clicks.
I’m being sold to the highest bidder. The performance of my life ends with an auction where men will bid for my virginity. Suddenly, the gravity of the entire day crushes down on me and I crumble to my knees. Dad catches my elbow, but not before I hit the wooden planks. Pain shoots up my leg, and I see stars.
“I can’t breathe.” I claw at his sleeve.
“I got you.” He holds me tight. “One breath at a time.”
Why does it have to be this way? Why did Archer choose not to help us? I don’t want to live with a stranger for six months. I don’t want to be owned by someone I didn’t choose. I feel naked and dirty.
“Paloma,” Dad whispers. “It’s time.” He helps me up, then walks off.
I lift my gaze to ask him to stay with me, but he’s gone.
Mindlessly, I take the stage for one last time tonight. When I reach the center, I look up to the first row, wishing Sole was still there. But she’s gone. So is Archer. Instead, row after row is filled with men clad in dark suits. To my horror, I recognize a lot of the faces. Some of them have even attended parties at my father’s house. I’m shocked that they think of me, their friend’s only daughter, in a sexual way. That they’re here because they know I’ve never been touched by another man, and they want to be the first.
Whatever you do, I tell myself,don’t fall.Don’t show them you’re scared. They can own your body, but never your soul. That’s for me to keep locked away, where no one can sully it with their money and their desires.
“Gentlemen.” A man I’ve never seen in my life walks on stage holding a microphone up to his lips. “As promised. The Swan Queen.”
My body sways, threatening to collapse again. But I lift my head high and choose a spot on the ceiling, so I don’t have to look at the audience.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” the man asks, giving me a lewd glance. He clears his throat, putting the microphone behind him. “Do you want to take off any layers?”
I’m still wearing the white swan costume with the feather shawl over my shoulders and a tutu that, at least, covers my crotch. Even removing my headpiece feels degrading at this point. I shake my head without looking at him.
“The bid will start at one million,” the man says.
In my peripheral, I see several paddles go up. Without meaning to, I peek down and spot Dad’s friend who lives a few miles from our house. He’s in his late seventies. His daughter has a kid who’s just a few years younger than me. I fist my hands and hide them in the feathers of my tutu.
“Do we have one point five?” the man on stage with me asks. “Ah, thank you. How about two million? Remember the winner tonight will earn the privilege of marrying a virgin.” He pauses for effect. “You’re going to have to take the Senator’s word for it on that one. I was not allowed to check for myself. Trust me I asked.” He laughs at his own joke. The man is gross with greasy hair and a cheap suit. For whatever reason, he’s enjoying this. Why? He doesn’t even know me. “Do we have two point five?”
Still several paddles go up in the air.
Then it hits me. His words. Did he say marry? My eyes widen in horror as I scan the crowd looking for Dad. I find him up in his box with Chuck and Hunter by his side. He lied to me. He said the deal was for only six months. The lights get brighter and make it hard for me to focus. I blink several times, but it’s no use. Everything is blurry. I make the effort to inhale, but the air doesn’t touch my lungs.
“I think she’s getting excited.” The man laughs again. “Do I have?—”
“Five million,” Archer calls from the back of the house. “End this ridiculous farce already.”
“Five point five.” Dad’s friend raises his paddle.
The man next to me is finally rendered speechless as his gaze darts between Dad’s friend and Archer. Archer takes his time reaching the front row, then turns to face the man with the winning bid. “Six million.” He bares his teeth. “If you say another word, I will cut out your tongue, old man.”
Red blotches creep up the old man’s face. He shoots Archer a furious glare, but he has to know he’s no match for Archer. Archer stands his ground, hands balled into fists. Dad’s friend looks my way as if to decide whether or not I’m worth him losing his tongue over. After what feels like hours, he finally concedes with a curt nod.
Archer turns to the rest of the men. “Get the fuck out. All of you.” When all they do is look at each other in confusion, Archer raises his voice. “Get. The. Fuck. Out. NOW.”
Next to me, the man with the microphone stands there looking at Archer with sheer terror in his eyes. Yeah, Archer looks like he’s ready to murder anyone who stands in his way.
“You should go,” I say to the man.
He hesitates but then scampers off the second Archer jumps up on stage. His chest rises and falls as he comes to stand in front of me. Tears pelt down my cheek, my lip trembling. He’s still fuming, and I have no idea why. Is he mad at me for choosing this route to help Dad? He can’t judge me like that. I came to him for help first and he refused me. I offered myself to him first. He’s the one who turned me away.
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