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I smiled again, shaking my head. “No, we’re very close but mostly in private. To the world the Whitney clan is structured and detached. We show up for each other, support each other, and my father hates it. I’m closer to my brother than my sister but we’re all truly connected.”

“Cress and I are close now. It used to be me and Jona but she’s been floating since the thing with Cress and Elias.”

He sounded hurt by the void. “You miss her?”

“I miss the person she used to be and the woman she is now who she won’t let us get to know, but as long as she’s okay, then I’m okay.”

“Is she okay?”

“With the way she’s blowing through money, yes.” He laughed but I could tell he wasn’t completely sure.

We finished our food with more casual conversation. I half expected him to ask about my marriage but he didn’t. I was grateful because I wasn’t sure I was ready to travel down that road with Christian right now, or ever…

We barely made a dent in the food but I was stuffed, and when I reached for my wine to finish the meal off, Christian shook his head. His hand covered mine on the glass.

"You've had enough for tonight."

I frowned. "Excuse me?"

"We'll be spending time in the playroom later." His voice deepened. "I want you completely aware. No alcohol influencing your decisions."

My pulse went crazy and so did the flutters in my stomach. "Tonight?"

"Unless you object."

I probably needed time to adjust to living here before adding that layer of complexity but my body had other ideas and was already throbbing with anticipation at the thought of being in that room with him.

"No objections.”

"Good, let me get this taken care of." He began clearing the containers.

I was nervous. This was different. More intimate because we weren’t in a club setting and there wasn’t a blindfold to hide behind. Just us, in his home, in a room that felt like it was for me. I knew that wasn’t the case but I would be the first. So wouldn’t he always remember that and think about me no matter who he was with?

The thought of him being with others after me gut punched but it would happen, whether I liked it or not. This. Is. Temporary.

I kept saying that in my head but still…

I was anxious, but more than anything, I was ready to see if the fantasies that had been playing in my mind since last night would match the reality of what was about to happen.

I stood in the bathroom staring at my reflection with my stomach in knots. For the next month I would belong to Christian. It felt strange even having that thought.

I exhaled slowly and stepped into the shower. The hot water helped. It gave me something to focus on. We discussed how things would go and the only thing he gave me was that he would take care of me.

"No expectations. Just trust."

"Let me guide you."

My body responded before my thoughts could catch up. For the past hour all I could think about was his mouth and hands on me and how far I would let things go.

I stepped out of the shower, dried off, and reached for the white silk robe I placed on the counter earlier.

I tied the belt and brushed my palms down the front before I looked in the mirror one last time.

You got this, Scot.

Even if your pulse says otherwise.

I laughed nervously before I walked barefoot down the hall. The house was so damn quiet that every single sound was amplified. Christian’s eyes were on me as soon as I stepped into the hallway, and the minute I stopped in front of the door, my stomach dipped. His presence was so damn loud right now but he looked relaxed and completely in control.