Page 51
Story: Duncan
Moving down the hall, I tried to slip away from Athena’s knowing gaze. My sister read me like a book on good days. One look in my eyes and she would know I was lying not only to her, but to myself, too.
“Would you like to watch a movie?”
I stopped and turned to look at her. “A movie?”
“Yea. Whenever you’re upset, you watch movies.” She shrugged and continued, “We’ll load up the snacks and watch movies while we snark at how awful the characters are.”
“You’re the best sister in the world,” I said as I hurried forward to give her a hug.
“And yet you spoke to Phoebe first.”
Her fake offense had me smiling. “She called as I was getting in the elevator. You know how she is.”
“I do.” She nodded. “So, was it awful?”
We walked arm in arm toward the kitchen. She went to the pantry while I opened the fridge.
“I hurt him,” I said, facing the open refrigerator. She didn’t need to see my face to hear the anguish in my voice. I never wanted to be the cause of someone’s pain.
“He’s a big boy. He’ll get over it.”
“Thanks,” I deadpanned over my shoulder. I shook my head at her tinkling laughter.
“You know what I mean. It will all work out the way it is supposed to.” Her muffled voice from the back of the pantry was right. I knew that. But it would take time before I let her words settle into my heart.
When I turned around, her arms were filled with bags of chips and sugary treats. It was a secret stash kept only for emergencies. One our brother had never discovered.
We quickly made our way to the media room, snuggled up together on the couch under a thick blanket, and turned on the first movie. We took a selfie and sent it to Phoebe, telling her how much we missed her and wished she were here.
She sent us back a picture of her snuggled up on Shaw’s chest and said she was glad she wasn’t. Athena and I both smiled and sent her back emoji’s with heart eyes.
We were so happy for our baby sister. She’d had so much tragedy and heartache, but now she was exactly where she should be. With the love of her life. And a child on the way.
After the attack she suffered in college that took their little boy, my sister was left barren. She had needed a hysterectomy to save her life. But the extended family she found among the Sons of Hell in Virginia was something none of us expected.
Sure, Dimeter loved his brothers, and they were there anytime he needed them. But their wives were a different breed. Sarah Montclair, wife of the vice president Cord Montclair, known as Gunner, had offered to be a surrogate for Phoebe and Shaw.
She was pregnant with their second child. A child that would never replace the son they lost but would fill their lives with something that had been missing.
My hand went over my belly and I wondered if I would ever experience that same joy. Would my soulmate want children? Did Duncan? Releasing a heavy sigh, I laid my head on Athena’s shoulder and settled in to watch movies.
“Everything will work out the way it is supposed to,” she reiterated.
“I know. I just can’t help but wonder if what is supposed to be will line up with what I want.”
What I wanted was a family of my own. I wanted a husband who looked at me the way Shaw looked at Phoebe. The way Dimeter looked at Henley.
The way my dad still looked at my mom.
And I wanted children. Lots of them. I wanted a house full of love and laughter. I wanted to carry on the Malpas legacy. Our last names would be different, but the love of my family wasn’t in our name. It was in our ways. It was the way we raised our children with love and support, and the encouragement to follow our own paths, whatever they might be.
“Trust in your path, Freyja. It won’t always be fun, or happy. Sometimes it will be hard. Sometimes it will hurt. But everything we do, everything we experience, makes us who we are. And who we are gets us to where we need to be.”
Athena was right. I knew everything she said. Had given those same words, in my own way of course, to others. Why was it so hard to take comfort in the words that comforted others?
Why was it hard to accept that my path was my path, whether I veered from it or stuck to it religiously? It was still my path and it would take me where I needed to go.
The problem was, I wanted it to take me back to Duncan.
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