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His fingers drifted up my calf. ‘It’s not. You know that as well as I do.’
‘You’re supposed to agree with me.’
‘I do, for the most part. You did what you needed to try to make your family whole again.’
‘No, I pushed and control-freaked my way into making things worse.’
‘What did she say in her reply?’
That knot built in my throat again. ‘In a nutshell? That I wasn’t worth it.’
He inhaled sharply. ‘Graciela...’
I didn’t look down, didn’t want to see sympathy or pity or embrace any form of gentleness. I was
too scared my lacerated heart would fracture into a million pieces if I succumbed to the promise of empathy. Did I deserve it? When I’d dragged everyone down with me into the pits of despair?
‘No one blames you for trying—’
I laughed again, my fingers tightening in his hair to stop his words. ‘Oh, believe me, they do.
Gideon most definitely did. He didn’t hold back. Bryce was soft-hearted enough not to hurt my
feelings with his words, but I could see in his eyes that he totally blamed me. I ruined us, Jensen. He went from being a loving and carefree younger brother to avoiding me every chance he got. I was a
pariah in my own home. I’d enter a room and they’d leave. In the end I begged Aunt Flo to send me to boarding school. Then I charmed my way into mid-term breaks and school vacations with any friend
who would have me because I couldn’t face going home. And it worked. I didn’t go home for two
years, was terrified of returning home to the same hatred. It was why...’ I pressed my lips together, holding in the last, heart-wrenching confession. But still he pressed.
‘Why what?’
‘Why I hated myself even more when I found out later that she came back.’
Blue eyes found mine. ‘She returned?’
‘For unannounced visits. She’d breeze in, drop off presents, then breeze out again. Or so I was
told.’
‘Maybe she wanted to reconnect?’
I shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t know. She never asked for me. She knew where I was but she never came
to see me in school. She never reached out. It was almost like... I was dead to her. And that made me angry, Jensen. Angrier than I’ve ever been in my life.’
‘That’s understandable. She hurt you.’
‘Yes, she did. But was it enough for me to wish her dead? Because that was exactly what I did. I
wished her dead, and a few months later she died.’
The cold jagged pain of that admission froze me from the inside out.
I barely registered Jensen twisting around, his strong arms lifting me off the sofa and into his lap and wrapping around me. The tightness in my throat unravelled, dissolving into hot, gulping tears that shook the very foundations of my soul.
Through it all, he held me close, running his fingers through my hair and down my back without