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Jaxon
I knew, even before I opened my eyes.
Claire was gone.
I lay there for a while, eyes closed, thinking about the night before.
Stay.
I’d finally said it. Finally told her what I wanted. I told her the truth, I told her everything and she stayed with me. Let me take her upstairs. Get her naked. Take her to bed.
We talked for hours. Kissed and laughed. I held her until my lids grew heavy and I followed her into sleep.
I love you.
That was last thing I said to her before I dropped off.
I love you too.
That’s what she said.
Then she left.
And it’s no less than I deserve.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I sit on its edge and stare out the window while the pressure in my chest crushes the air from my lungs.
I hear noises coming from downstairs. The refrigerator opening and closing. The slide of silverware in the drawer. Someone rifling around in the pantry.
Simon.
I’ve tried to make Sunday breakfast a thing but he sabotages me, every chance he gets. If I’m not up and cooking before he comes downstairs, he slams a quick bowl of cereal so he can tell me he’s already eaten.
I guess I deserve that too.
You know what? Fuck that.
Yes, I’ve made mistakes, but I was a kid. A kid who was a father. Scared shitless, just trying to keep my head above water. Yes, I could’ve done better but I tried.
I’m still trying.
I stand, stalking my way across the room. Pulling a pair of jeans from my drawer, I jerk them up, barely closing the zipper before finding a T-shirt. Jam my feet into boots without socks.
Claire said she was going to stay.
I told her what I want and she said yes.
If she changed her mind, I deserve to know why.
Even if I don’t deserve it, she’s going to look me in the eye and tell me anyway.
Even if I don’t like the answer.
I take the back stairs into the kitchen where Simon is. I’ll call my mom. She’ll come over and stay with him. I’ll take my bike. Fuck, I’ll walk if I have to.
I’m going to get her.
I’m bringing her home.