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‘No. It’s for me. I’m going on a trip. My brother is getting married in Thailand and I’m maid of honour.’

‘You’re going out there on your own?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re brave.’

I grip my bag strap.

The pharmacy lady pushes the prescription slip through the little window. Usually, a white packet is passed back through the window almost immediately. But today the pharmacist himself comes out of the medicine room, a tall man in a white coat. He has serious black glasses on his nose.

‘Name?’ he asks.

‘Elizabeth Kinnock.’

‘Address?’

‘Apartment 11F, Primrose Gardens.’

‘You’re aware these can have quite a few side effects? Just to double-check, you haven’t any history of mental illness in the family, have you? The doctor asked you about that?’

‘He did. No. No history.’

The pharmacist hands me the packet. ‘Are you off to Africa? Somewhere like that?’

‘South-East Asia.’

‘It’s important to start taking these a week before you travel,’ says the pharmacist. ‘Otherwise, you won’t be sufficiently protected.’

‘Thank you.’ My hands close around the paper packet.

Before I leave, I order two packs of codeine, a bottle of cough syrup and an antifungal Candida tablet.

I leave the pharmacy with a spring in my step, not minding the rain in the slightest.

When I get home, Olly is still in bed. His leg is especially painful today because I did his physio earlier. I left Tom sleeping in the cot next to him.

‘Sweetheart?’ I call out.

‘Hey, Lizzie,’ Olly groans back.

‘I’ve just come from the doctors,’ I say, decanting the white Lariam tablets into a plastic cup. ‘I told him you were still in pain. He’s given you something extra. He thinks it might help.’

‘What would I do without you, Lizzie Nightingale?’

I feel myself smiling.

He thinks he’s in charge, but I am. It’s such a powerful feeling – better than any drug on earth.

I think to myself,I did that. I changed you and you didn’t even know.

No more shadows for me. Not when I have this sort of control.

Kate

9.04 p.m.

The police picked me up as soon as I called. They made very good time, actually – just over five minutes.