Page 96 of Don't Say You're Sorry

“What did she say to you?” I ask, dreading the answer.

“She said she heard you talking to me on the phone. Is that true?” His expression doesn’t change. His face is completely blank, making it impossible for me to read him. It’s making me nervous as hell. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

“Yes.”

“And the text messages?”

Damn it, Lauren.

“Yes.”

He stares at me for a few beats, his brows pulling down into a deep V. He looks hurt, and the old, fragile strings that stretchbetween him and my heart give a little tug.NowI know what he’s thinking, and it guts me.

“What, were you calling and texting an old phone or something?”

I don’t answer that. I can’t. Not without telling him what really happened.

I’ve known for weeks that I’d have to tell him eventually, but I don’t know if I’m ready yet.

This will break him. Me. It’ll break us all over again.

His jaw tics. “Answer me.”

“Adam…” I shake my head. I’m at a loss here. Damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

“Do you know what I would have done to get even one of those messages?” His voice is just above a whisper. Standing, he crowds my space, pressing his forehead against mine. “You idiot. I waited for you. For weeks. Months. I waited three and a half years, and you never called me. Not once. You were too busy talking to a ghost.”

I clench my jaw so hard that it feels like my teeth are about to crack.

He exhales heavily, his breath hitting my lips. “I know I didn’t deserve to hear from you. That’s why I never called you. I thought you wanted space. I thought you were getting over me. But if you were so miserable, so broken without me, why didn’t you callme? The real me. I could have been there for you, E. Why didn’t y?—”

“I did.”

He snaps his mouth shut.

“I did call you. Hundreds of times.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I texted you, left you voicemails…I called you every fucking day, Adam. You never picked up.”

He shakes his head vehemently. “No, you didn’t.”

“I did, baby.”

He pulls back to look at me properly, his forehead crinkling. “I don’t understand. I don’t…”

“I know.” Clutching the back of his neck, I pull him back in, our noses brushing. “I know.”

His fingers travel up my arms and wrap around my wrists. “Why does it feel like whatever you’re about to tell me is going to crush me?”

“Because it is.”

He braces himself. “Tell me.”

I nod, stroking my thumbs over his jaw. “The day you left, when I tried to stop you, I dropped my phone when I got out of the car. Axel handed it to me, but before he did, he changed your number. I didn’t figure it out until after you came back. The whole time you were away, I wasn’t calling you. I was calling him.”

CHAPTER 35

ADAM

Ibarge into Axel’s room just as he’s exiting the en-suite bathroom. Dripping wet, he startles, clutching the towel hanging low on his hips. He raises his eyebrows at me. “Do you mind?”