Page 1 of Don't Say You're Sorry

PROLOGUE

ADAM

Ishouldn’t be here.

I should have stayed in London, as far away as possible from the person I was forced to leave behind. When my stepdad finds out I’m back in Hawthorne, he’s going to be pissed, but I can’t bring myself to give a shit about him right now. Not when I’m finally seeing the boy I love for the first time in three and a half years.

I’ve thought about him every day since the day I left. Every day, I’ve missed him, needed him, wished for him, pined for him. Every fucking day, I thought about dropping everything and risking it all for him.

But he doesn’t know any of that. I left and never saw or talked to him again. And he…

God, he looks so happy.

Without me.

Maybe it makes me a narcissistic bastard, but it pisses me off.

It would kill me if he was heartbroken, alone, and still waiting for me. That’s not what I wanted for him, but the fact that he looksfine,as if nothing has changed…that kills me too.

He’s here with someone. A girl. Adate. I don’t know who she is, but I hate her. I hate that he’s here with her. I hate that he’s not here with me.

Surrounded by our parents’ friends and family, the girl laughs as he twirls her around on the dance floor. They make a cute couple. She’s beautiful, but not as beautiful as he is. No one’s as beautiful as he is. And it’s not just because he looks good—fuck, he looks good—but because he’s him. It’s his energy, his confidence, his devil-may-care attitude, his bright smile that lights up this entire ballroom. Like sunshine after rain.

Sunshine…

Just as I think it, he turns his head as if he can hear my thoughts, his eyes finding mine from across the room. Like magnets, our gazes snap together and hold. I freeze. He freezes. The smile I was just staring at slips off, and my heart—fuck, my heart—it’s beating out of control. My chest feels too tight, and I can’t breathe. Idon’tbreathe, holding the air in my lungs as if it’ll make this moment last longer. It hurts…looking at him, having him look at me like he’s seen a ghost…but nothing hurts as much as not being able to look at him at all.

“Adam? Oh my God, Adam!”

Fuck. My mum. I forgot about her.

My stepbrother blinks as if he’s coming out of a trance. I still don’t move, don’t take my eyes off him, don’t breathe…not until my mother jogs over to me and cups my face. “Adam.”

My voice cracks when I say, “Hey, Mum.”

There are tears in her eyes when she grins, and I hate myself. I didn’t just leavehimthree and a half years ago. I left her too. She and my stepdad came to visit me and my brother a few times, but I never came to visit them, and I could never tell her the real reason.

Mum yanks me in for a hug, and I wrap my arms around her, peeking at my stepbrother over her shoulder. He’s facing hisdate, his back to me, his hand in hers as they continue dancing. She’s not laughing anymore and doesn’t look like she’s having as much fun as she was a few moments ago, but my heart still sinks down to my ass.

He turned his back on me.

Just like I did to him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” She pulls back to hold me at arm’s length, taking me in from head to toe.

“I wanted to surprise you.” I force a smile. “Happy tenth anniversary.” I hand her the gift I bought. It’s a gift card wrapped in a box, same as every other special occasion. I suck at gift giving. She won’t mind though. She loves my gift cards.

She playfully narrows her eyes. “Will I be able to buy shoes with it?”

“Yes.”

She hums, carefully wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “Then I’ll forgive you for ruining my makeup, you little shit.”

That makes me laugh—genuinely laugh—and it feels good. It’s comforting to know she hasn’t changed, that she’s still the mouthy little badass she’s always been. Her fire still burns as bright as it always did, if not brighter, and as much as I hate to admit it, I have my stepdad to thank for that. He and I don’t get along—not anymore—but my mum doesn’t know that. We keep it a secret because it would break her heart if she knew. She adores him, and despite his faults, he treats her like the queen she is. He truly loves her and would do anything to protect her, which is why I could never do anything to come between them. I could if I wanted to. All it would take is one conversation, a few words,five words, and their marriage would fall apart.

“Where’s your brother?” my mum asks. “Is he here too?”

I shake my head. “He couldn’t get out of work,” I lie.