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So I stay silent.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
LEVI
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I lie staring at Kaylee while she sleeps. It’s the week before Christmas, and we’re at my penthouse. The light is starting to peak through the small gap in the long plush drapes.
I know she wants answers. I know by the way she watches me. The way her eyes lock with mine when we’re making love. When she thinks I don’t know, she’s looking.
She wants answers.
And so do I.
I’m almost certain she feels the same way about me, but at no point has she invited me to visit her parents, and I can’t make sense of that.
Her father loved me. He loves the Hawkes.
I know why I’m not taking her home to my family, but why isn’t she?
Over and over, my head goes around in circles.
What is it that she wants?
Can I risk finding out, or would she end it if she knew I was so madly in love with her?
Would she be loyal this time if we did make it official? Or am I some guy she’s enjoying great sex with, and we both just can’t walk away from it?
Sooner or later we are going to get caught. I know that. This is a huge fucking risk for me.
I’m a public figure.
My family would be ashamed of me if I let this woman do it to me a second time. Look, I know they love and support me, but every man in my family is highly successful and proud. I don’t want to be the one idiot that they talk about in the news who was cheated on publicly.
The media knows Kaylee. They’d be watching her. Being connected to another player would quickly get her the title jersey chaser.
Can I do that to them...or myself?
I watch her eye lashes flicker and wonder if she’s dreaming. I feel her legs thread through mine and grit my teeth at the things I’m thinking about her.
I love this woman.
I fucking love her.
There’s no way I can be right. It doesn’t feel right, and I hate even thinking about them. But I have to protect my reputation and I’m not willing to shame my family.
Or myself in their eyes.
We should’ve had a talk weeks ago, but we both let it go and have just been working, training, and fucking since.
A mistake.
Now I’m not sure how to move forward and bring the topic up. The timing couldn’t be worse. Tonight is the Hawkes family and friends Christmas party.
It’s going to be huge. Dad, Knox, Payton, Atlas, and Molly will be there, along with Kyler and Drew.
Kaylee said her parents wouldn’t be attending as her father was having a bad week, but that Steph might.