Page 54 of Dirty Behavior

Ivy

The phone wasin my hand. It felt cold and awkward.

I had wished for this one thing so many times; the freedom to speak.

It was right there, but I had no idea how to use it. Safety was our freedom for right now, knowing that we were under the radar and hidden away was keeping us together.

It was keeping us alive.

When Dante left this morning, he insisted that I keep the phone. He wanted me to be able to get help if I needed it. He didn't want something to happen, and know I wouldn't be able to reach out to someone if need be.

I didn't want to take it.

What if he needs it?

He was going out to the stalking grounds, I thought he needed it more. I was safe here, nobody knew where I was. Dante was going out into the city, showing his face off to the world and those who were waiting for him.

I wish he would've taken it.

But Dante wouldn't let me say no, and it didn't matter how much I protested. He was so stubborn in his control. He told me it didn't matter, that even if I refused to take it, he'd just leave it anyway.

I loved that he was concerned about the baby and me, but it drove me nuts when he wouldn't listen to reason. So I took it, but having the phone just didn't feel right, it still felt foreign. Even holding it made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

The last time I held a phone was in that parking lot when Dante told me to call my family. Even then it felt like a dream, like the phone didn't exist, and I was looking down on myself from outside my body.

Remo has fucked my mind.

I let the light flicker off as the ringing stopped. Holding it tight, I held the lifeline in my hand and I didn't know what to do with it.

Should I answer it no matter what?

What if he forgot what he said?

Pacing around the kitchen, I kept checking the time. Dante was hopefully going to talk to Sesto, then he was going to pick up some stuff for us at the store. He had me write down a list of all the things I would need now that I was pregnant.

I tried not to laugh at him, but he had this terrified look in his eyes like I might keel over if I didn't get prenatal vitamins.

So I made him a list of all sorts of crap, even though I didn't really have a damn clue what I would need. But it made him happy to have that piece of paper in his hand, like he was doing something for our baby.

It was so cute, I loved it.

There was no doubt in my mind that he was going to make a great dad. Already he was coddling our unborn child, afraid that I would break if I had to do anything for myself. He was so concerned about leaving me alone that I had to practically force him out.

Besides, we did need food since he had decided to throw out everything his brother had gotten for us. A girl's got to eat, especially now that I was eating for two.

The phone buzzed again, the same number coming through. Opening the screen, I let my thumb hover over the green button. But I still didn't answer.

I was afraid.

Who's on the other end?

Dante told me that if he needed to call me, he'd let it ring once, hang up, and call back again.

That wasn't him.

Snapping it closed, I let it go to voicemail. It was stupid how nerve-wracking it was just listening to the ring. It was such a common sound, a regular part of most people's lives.

For me, it was ear-slicing, wreaking havoc on my brain. If I answered and it wasn't him, what would I say?