Page 41 of Dirty Behavior

Dante

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

My heart had never pumped so hard or so fast in my entire life. I was sweating instantly, my hands were slippery and barely able to stay still. Holding the thin plastic stick, I stared at the small screen. There were two lines. . .

What the hell does two lines mean?

“What am I looking at? What does this mean?”

It wasn't that I really needed her to tell me what I was holding in my hand, but I needed to hear the words out loud. She had to say it, that was the only thing that would make it real to me.

Just seeing the lines did nothing but send my nerves into hyper-drive. My eyes were trying to focus on the screen, the blue lines merging together in one smeared inkblot.

Ask me what I was staring at, and I'd tell you it was a fucking fly that had been struck down and squished against the clear lens. That's what I saw, there wasn't a small spark igniting in my brain that yelled,'Baby!'

In my hand, all I was holding was a piece of plastic.

Her hands were shaking, the smile on her face intoxicating. “I'm pregnant, Dante.” Ivy's mouth formed each and every syllable like she was afraid I might be hearing a different language.

“You're serious?”

Nodding yes, her teeth clanked together behind her smile, gleaming like the snow on a sunny day.

“And you're sure there's no chance this could be wrong?”

“I took both tests and they both came back positive. I'm also a week late, and honestly, I just haven't felt right lately.” Snagging my hand, she squeezed it hard. “We're having a baby, can you believe this?”

I felt numb. I wasn't sure if the heat rolling over my body was excitement or nerves, if it was fear or horror. I guess I just never expected this.

Having a baby wasn't something I had ever envisioned happening in my life. My future had already been set for me. I was a rule keeper, I was authority, I was everything my dad had already deemed me to be.

But a father. . .

I wasn't meant for this.

Compassion, love, pain for another, all of these feelings were new to me. My mind was trying to understand what to do with all this shit tumbling around inside. I wasn't used to this side yet, I was still trying to figure out how the hell to deal with this new version of myself.

A baby? Could I really have it in me to raise a child?

I could hear my mother inside my head, her voice highlighted in actions and lessons. She would be asking me what I thought was going to happen if I had unprotected sex. She'd curse under her breath, then give me a big hug, reminding me of what my responsibilities would be now.

That's how she worked, she wouldn't shun me for making a bad choice. Not my mother. She expected me to learn from what I did, accept whatever the outcome would be.

There's no walking away. This is your child, this is your responsibility.

Yes, I completely understood that the chance was there. I wasn't obtuse to the fact that fucking a woman repeatedly without protection would eventually lead to knocking her up.

But my mind was constantly floating and I couldn't think straight, all because the woman beside me made my brain go into hibernation.

Ivy had blinded all rational thought.

None of that matters.

“Say something.” Her eyes skidded to a stop, light crinkles formed at the corners of her lips as she frowned with worry. “Say anything, Dante.”

I didn't know what to say. The thought of Ivy carrying my child made everything I was about to do more important. I was her protector, now I had to protect two.