Page 29

“Allie,” Eren breathes. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”

It only makes me sob harder.

Eren wraps one arm around my waist, tangles the other in my hair, and lays his cheek on top of my head. He doesn’t say anything else, just holds me as I cry.

I don’t even think all the tears are coming from the wholematesthing, but a dam that’s broken from holding back everything else. The choosing, my fear, the intensity of everything Eren and I shared tonight, just… all of it.

When I’ve cried out all the tears I can, Eren moves his hand from my hair to rub in soothing strokes up and down my back. He still doesn’t say anything, doesn’t give me an inch of space.

“Are you happy I’m your mate?” I ask him.

Goddess above, what a pathetic question.

In response, Eren only holds me tighter, hooks an arm under me so he can pull me up into his embrace, and wades us both back until we’re sitting on the submerged bench at the side of the tub. After a few more long, silent seconds, he takes a shaky breath before he answers.

“I feel blessed to have you as my mate, Allison Ashblood.”

The note of possession in the name and in his tone makes me feel like I might cry again.

“I should have told you,” he goes on. “I should have been honest about the fact that from the moment I stepped through the Veil, I knew you were mine.”

“But it’s not something you chose. If you could have—”

“I would choose you in this realm or the human realm or any of the rest. I would choose you always, you beautiful, sweet, unearthly creature. Mates or not, Goddess-blessed or not, there could never be a life in which I did not know you as my own.”

I can only nod, fully too overwhelmed to process the enormity of his words.

“Can I take care of you, Allie?” he asks softly.

Numbly, I let him. I don’t know exactly what it does for my own frayed emotions, but it seems to soothe him. With each stroke of the washcloth over my body, each pass of his gentle, clawed fingers through my hair as he washes and rinses it, each tender knead of my sore muscles, I feel him grow more relaxed.

It calms me a little as well, at least enough that when a low rumble kicks up from his chest, I visibly startle.

“What is that?”

He looks suddenly ashamed, and the rumble subsides. “I’m sorry.”

“Were you… were youpurring?”

It’s so oddly incongruous—with his huge, muscled frame, terrifying fangs, and powerful wings—to imagine something as gentle as a purr being a part of the package.

Eren won’t meet my eye.

“Wait, is the purr bad?”

“It’s… a noise of contentment, deep contentment.”

“Then why do you look so guilty?”

“Because I shouldn’t be feeling that way,” he says roughly, setting the cloth he’s still holding aside and releasing his hold on me. He takes a few steps away to sink down on the bench on the other side of the tub. “I’m sorry, Allie. I… I’m being selfish. I’ve been so selfish this entire evening.”

Silence falls, and I’m left looking at him with a heavy weight in my chest and regret creeping into my heart. No matter what else I might be feeling, no part of me is pleased with seeing my demon so sorrowful.

Making a decision, I stand and wade forward. When I come to stand in front of him, his head snaps up and the depth of emotion in his deep red eyes hits me almost like a physical blow.

“Just… hold me?” I ask.

He nods, gathers me back into his arms, and holds me close. I close my eyes, breathe the steamy air deep into my lungs, and let myself be lost in his hold and the faint sound of his purr.