Page 110

I wish this moment could stretch out for eternity, wish this peace could last. I know it can’t, and when we stand and get ready to go back upstairs, all those cracks in my heart refuse to close.

Chapter 39

Eren

Allie is quiet when we return to our room for the evening.

Her tears have stopped and her emotions feel a bit more steady through the bond, but I’m reluctant to set her down when we portal into our bedroom. Still, knowing she may need the space, I set her on her feet and she wanders into the bathroom to splash some water on her face.

Even as she walks away, I can still feel her as clearly as if she were in my arms.

It stole my breath, the clarity with which I felt her sadness tonight. There was never a choice, never a single moment of hesitation before I went to her.

I will always go to her.

She could be in any of the thirteen realms, and I’d find her. I knew it on the night of the Tithe and I know it now. Even if she’ll never experience this bond between us the way I do, even if she never decides to accept it, or fully understand how much it means to me.

Part of me knows she doesn’t. If she did, she would have never questioned the gift it is to be connected to her so deeply that her joy and her sadness have become one in the same with my own.

Still, no part of me faults her for it.

If we’re built fundamentally different, if she’ll never be able to grasp what it means to have a bonded mate, then I’ll show her in other ways. I’ll love her as well and deeply as any demon has loved his mate until she knows without any doubt what she means to me. I’ll earn the bond I have with her and spend my life making myself worthy of her.

If only we can make it through tomorrow night.

The remnants of her pain and fear echo through me, and from the flavor of it, I can tell it’s grounded in exhaustion and doubt. Allie is stretched to a breaking point.

Everything she shared with me tonight is still lodged firmly in my chest, aching with each beat of my heart. Allie is strong, strong enough to have made a life for herself even without the support of her coven, and knowing there’s still some part of her that feels like she’s lacking is intolerable. Knowing that being here, struggling with everything that’s been dropped on her and having those same feelings of inadequacy brought to the surface, makes me ache to wrap her up and keep her close.

My lovely mate, who’s never felt like she belonged. My beautiful wife, who still doesn’t know how very precious she is. I’m not sure if anything I have to offer her will fix any of it, or if it’s anything close to what she needs. I hope it is. If she’ll only let me, I’d make her understand that she’ll need never doubt herself here, with me.

Her magick, though slightly banked, flares a little when I approach her and wrap my arms around her waist.

“Can I take you somewhere tonight?” I ask, already with the perfect place in mind.

If a distraction will help, I’d take her anywhere.

She cranes her neck to look up at me, and my heart stutters a little to see some of the light returned to her eyes. “Are you asking me on a date?”

“Date?” I tease, knowing full well what it is. “Is this a human custom?”

“It is.” She turns and wraps her arms around my neck. “And yes, you can.”

Chapter 40

Allie

Eren doesn’t take us from the room right away. Instead, he runs soft hands over my shoulders and down my sides to rest on my hips. He leans down to press a kiss to the side of my neck, but the caresses aren’t urgent or meant to inflame. They’re gentle and soothing, a slow dance of touch, of give and take meant to bring us both a little bit of peace.

After my crying jag and everything we shared earlier, I’m in a seriously weird headspace right now. The prospect of getting out of this mountain even for a little while is suddenly so, so appealing.

Whether that includes any other intimacy, I don’t even care. Time with him is all I want, time for us to savor before it might run out tomorrow.

Sex between us the last few days has been… different. Tender, slower, both of us exhausted by the long days and running on fumes as the full moon approaches. I’m grateful for that tonight, grateful we can have this wonderful sort of intimacy as well, a luxury of lazy, reassuring touch that soothes something in me that’s still ragged and broken.

“Are we taking a portal to our date?” I ask, still leaning into that touch.

He nips at my ear. “Yes, if you’re ready?”