Page 129 of Demon's Bane

He inhales deeply, then lets out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, little mate. I’m not… I can’t…”

“I know,” I whisper, somehow feeling everything he is. The overwhelm. The painful relief of breathing the same air again. Being here. With him. Nothing else seems to matter. “Let’s go upstairs.”

Again, the sound he makes isn’t quite decipherable as a reply, but with the way his heart is thundering where I lay my cheek against his chest and the way his breath is still coming in ragged, broken rasps, I’m not sure if he’s capable of words right now.

He carries me upstairs. When we reach my apartment he steps us inside, keeping me firmly held against him as he crosses the room, sinks down onto my couch, buries his face in the crook of my neck and inhales, breathing me deep.

We stay like that for a few long minutes. Though it’s only been a couple of days since I was in his arms—a stretch of time that doesn’t even feel that long since I was out for most of it—the strength and overwhelm of the embrace makes it seem like it may have been weeks. Months. Years. Holding him and holding him and holding him, I’m only startled back to sanity by the rough rasp of his voice near my ear.

“You left.”

“I did.” I shift back so I can look him in the eye as I say it.

“You should not have left before you were healed.”

I bristle at that. That’s what he’s mad about? Not that I left, but that I’m hurt? “I’m healed enough. And Felix was careful with me when he—”

My words cut off at Rhett’s displeased growl.

“Joan, if you expect me to sit here and listen to you talk about how another male—”

“It wouldn’t have been another male to take me home if you hadn’t left first.”

A ripple in my brittle justification, cracking right down the middle when I see the guilt in his expression, the pain.

“I got word about my sister. She was hurt by Tyvar’s crew just before Tyvar and David attacked you, and she had just woken up. She’s alright, now, but I didn’t… I wasn’t sure if she…”

Well… shit.

Alright.

That’s a pretty fucking good reason to leave.

“Rhett,” I breathe with horrifying clarity. It wasn’t a setup, at least not entirely. Halla really was hurt and used to draw Rhett away from me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

“Don’t apologize.” Rhett’s arms are an iron-steady band around me as he crushes me to his chest. “I should never have left when you still hadn’t woken, made you think I abandoned you to—”

“Stop,” I whisper, pressing a finger against his lips. “Please stop. I never should have… fuck. I’m sorry, Rhett. So sorry. I was so tired and scared… and that’s really no excuse. I don’t know why I’m even—”

It’s his turn to silence my stream of babbled apologies.

“I do not blame you for what you must have thought. We did not… part well.”

My throat tightens and my eyes sting. “No, we didn’t.”

For a few long moments, we both sit with those words. I shift in Rhett’s hold, settling more deeply into him as I silently mark each one of his breaths.

Goddess, is there anything that makes more sense than this?

Each inhale, a prayer. Each exhale, a promise.

Nothing, nothing in any of the thirteen realms that feels as right as his arms around me.

“When I returned to the village,” Rhett says, “I spoke with Halla. She made me realize something I should have a long timeago. Something you tried to tell me, that I was too stubborn to hear.”

“Yeah?” I nuzzle into his neck, unable to keep even an inch of distance between us. “And what’s that?”

My mate, apparently, is better able to tolerate a little space. Or maybe what he needs to say is important enough to endure it as he leans back and cups my cheek in his hand.