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“They don’t generally attack for no reason,” dos Santos said, “usually only if they’re defending their chicks—”

“Tell that to the scarecrow! He was doing literally nothing.”

“Look!” Raj said, shoving his phone in my face. “This is what we’re dealing with!” He jabbed at the screen, which displayed a list of cassowary facts.

Gorgeous and colorful bird

Has killed many humans

Can chase you down with speeds up to 40 mph

Will cut you open with its 4-inch claws!

That the list read like a first grader’s school project made it no less terrifying, and now Raj was playing a YouTube video that started with a Florida Man pleading with 911 to send an ambulance becauseI’m bleeding to death. His pet cassowary had attacked him, and he did not survive.

“Stop,” I said, practically knocking the phone out of Raj’s hand. I rotated away from him. “Can you bring the van? And some kind of net, I guess?”

“This is what I meant by boundaries,” dos Santos said.

“We’re about to get murdered by a dinosaur and you’re worried about boundaries?” I was glad I hadn’t asked him to make it snappy because we had a cocktail party to attend.

“I work at a zoo. It’s not a place for acquaintances to store their animals.”

“If a cancer kid needed to use one of your enclosures, I bet it’d be no problem.”

“You’re not a kid and you don’t have cancer, and I can’t fathom why someone with cancer would need to be in a zoo. Anyway. I’ll call around. I might be able to find someone willing to take him off your hands. But there’s a huge accident at The Split, and I doubt anyone will make it up there tonight. In the meantime, can you lure him somewhere safe? Like a barn or an unused building?”

“We do have a lot of barns,” I said. “And actually, tomorrow morning is probably better. We have... guests coming over.”

“Oh, God,” dos Santos groaned.

“You’re not making me feel very assured!”

“Okay.” He was out of breath, despite being safely ensconcedin his office an hour or more away. “Find a way to corral him. If he does come at you, you have to be the aggressor. Look him dead in the eyes.”

“Yeah, no,” I said, thinking only a man would tell someone to make eye contact with a vicious predator.

“After you make eye contact, back away slowly,” dos Santos said, “while holding something in front of you. Keep as much distance as possible, and don’t let him near any children or pets.”

“Obviously—” I started, and my heart lurched.Frosty!I clicked off the phone and turned toward Raj, tears running down my cheeks. “We need to get back to the house,” I said. “I left the dog outside, and God knows where he is. Jindos are runners.” I covered my face. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I should’ve never tried to have a pet.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Raj said, and I wanted to smack him because what the hell did he know, and also he was out here killing stink badgers on the regular. But he stepped on the gas and told me I was a great dog owner, and for a moment, I liked him again.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I repeated. As we crested the hill, I saw a figure in the distance. It was Ivan, running, carrying something white in his arms.

“Frosty!” I screamed. Before Raj had a chance to stop or even slow down, I was out of the cart, sliding across the dirt on my Birks. Within seconds, I’d toppled, head over ass, scraping my hands and cutting a hole in the knee of my sweatpants. “Is he okay?” I said as Frosty tried to writhe out of Ivan’s arms.

“He’s fine,” Ivan said, his face bright red and drenched in sweat. “You took off, and Frosty was standing there, wondering what happened. Then I saw this weird creature?” He set down the dog and I reached out to grab hold of his collar. “This might sound absurd, but it reminded me of a dinosaur?”

“We are familiar with the dinosaur,” I said, giving Frostya very thorough belly rub. Meanwhile, his eyes were bugged and his mouth hung open like he was happy, but also slightly insane.

“I probably didn’t need to pick him up,” Ivan said. “But it was my first instinct.”

“Thank you,” I said, starting to cry again. “I can’t say it enough.” I would’ve promised him Raj’s million dollars if I still had it to give.

Ivan used his shoulder to wipe the sweat from his brow. “What the hell was that thing?”

“A cassowary,” Raj said. “It’s a long story, but hop in. We could use the help.”