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We’re probably about to get shanked.

I shift my weight from foot to foot. “So, what, are we just supposed to wait around …” My words die off as someone blows a horn.

Just as my eyes scour the landscape for the fairy, the sound of dozens of footfalls echo from the hole. Not a minute later, armed fairies come pouring out of the opening, pointing their weapons at us and shouting orders.

“Hands at your backs! Hands at your backs!”

Des does as instructed, looking ever the compliant captive. Taking a cue from him, I move my own hands to my back.

The fairies clamor in close to us, all while ignoring our former prisoner. Not that I’m that surprised. His clothes are tattered and homespun and he looks like he’s been on the wrong end of one too many fists, which is about how these soldiers’ look. Des and I, however, are clothed in fine silks and we’re (relatively) clean.

“Found these two wandering around the plains,” Des’s former captive says. “King Henbane will want to see them. They’ve got magic in spades.”

The soldiers grunt, eyeing us appreciatively. “You’ll get your finder’s fee.”

“I look forward to it.”

I narrow my eyes at our former prisoner.

He gives me a toothy smile and a two-fingered salute. “Enjoy your stay,” he says, backing away. The fairy leaves us there, descending into the crevice until the earth swallows him completely.

The soldiers move to shackle us, their metal restraints clanging together. The sound fills me with no little amount of dread. For a split second, I’m vividly back in Karnon’s prison.

“Cuff her with iron, and you’ll lose your balls,” Des says, pulling me back into the present.

One of the soldiers hesitates, then squints at Des, a mean look in his eye. “Is that a threat?”

“Naw, he’s just reciting poetry to you,” I say.

The fairy’s glare moves from the Bargainer to me, his lips pressed together like he’s tasted something bad. All at once, he swings the back of his palm at me.

He never lands the blow. His hand freezes inches from my face.

“Ah, ah, ah. Hasn’t anyone told you it’s impolite to hit a girl?” the Bargainer’s voice is beguiling, but at his back his wings have appeared. They spread out menacingly.

The display is so obviously a warning, but the soldiers close in on him anyway.

In an instant, Des’s magic lashes out, knocking the fairies to the ground. With another pulse of his power, the soldiers’ weapons are yanked from them, the swords and cudgels turned on their owners. They lay pinned in place, held hostage by their weapons.

The only one not held up by their weapons is the soldier who tried to hit me. He lays on the ground, his eyes wide as his arm rises in front of him. As he watches, his fingers begin to curl into a fist.

He stammers out, “W-what in all the—”

His fist strikes out, slamming into his face with a meaty slap. It pulls away only to land a second blow—then a third, fourth, fifth. The soldier cries out as blood begins to drip from his nose.

“Aye, you fools,” one of the fallen soldiers says. He’s staring at Des’s wings, “that’s the Night King!”

The Bargainer’s eyes sweep over them. “I’m done playing games.” His voice drips with menace. “Take us to your king.”

The Banished Landsactually has a society. You can almost call it a civilization, exceptcivilhas no business being in the name.

Since descending into the Otherworld’s buttcrack—a.k.a., the crevice in the ground—I’ve gotten a quick and thorough introduction into Maltira, the City of the Banished.

So far, I’ve seen six fights break out, four passed out fairies, three couples going at it (seven if you count the very questionable dancing we walked by) and dozens of people wearing jewelry made from fae bones.

Apparently bone necklaces are athing.

Early on, a few fairies catcalled me and another grabbed his crotch. That all came to a fun little end when the catcallers mysteriously started confessing to having grandma fetishes and venereal diseases, and the crotch-grabber began squeezing his bits until he was begging for mercy.