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I’ll hide from it no more.

Chapter 36

I can’t feela thing.

I didn’t feel Temper’s touch when she held me in her arms, her skin like fire to my ice. I didn’t feel the bite of pain or gratitude when several Night fae collected us from that cavern. And I didn’t feel the lashing wind against my cheeks during the long journey back to Somnia.

It’s only once I’m deposited in my chambers and I take a shuddering breath, that I feelsomething.

Agony like no other.It weakens my knees and chokes the breath out of me.

I squeeze my eyes shut. This is worse, so much worse, than feeling nothing. This pain is like a wound that’s bleeding me out.

Temper is still at my side, her fingers threaded through mine. I slip my hand out of hers.

“Leave me,” I say.

There’s no way she’d ever leave me if circumstances were normal. But my skin is still glowing and my glamour is still riding my words. My siren hasn’t left me since the battle, and even a sorceress as powerful as Temper can’t fight my magic.

“This is bullshit,” Temper mutters as her feet carry her out of the room. She grabs the door handle and opens the door. “Soon as your glamour wears off, I’m coming back for you.”

The door clicks shut behind her, and her voice gives way to silence.

My eyes sweep over the suite. Des’s wedding present to me.

A sob slips out, and my chest heaves with empty, silent cries. I wander to the infinity pool with its glowing water.

Step by step I slip into the pool, clothes and all. Beneath the surface my head slips.

This can’t be real. Pain like this doesn’texist, and surely one can’t survive this sort of suffering.

I sink to the bottom of the pool and stare up through the water. From here I can hear the water rushing between my ears, and I can see the suite’s lamps glimmering far above me.

I could stay right here, forever, and I’d be fine with that. I don’t think a siren is capable of drowning, but I’m always willing to test that theory.

If I died, I’d be in the Kingdom of Death and Deep Earth. Then I’d be back with Desmond, once and for all.

My throat tightens. He’s gone.

But I could join him. I could join him in the land of the dead—

That’s what the Thief wants.

I let out a moan, the sound warped beneath the water.

There’s no relief from this agony; not even death will be the end of it. If I died, I would fall under the Thief’s reign. Then the monster could wholly control me, and I doubt reuniting me with my mate is a part of his plan.

So I’m stuck here, in the land of the living, all while Des—

Des is dead.

Dead.

A sob slips out then, a burst of bubbles forming with the cry. But once I start weeping, I can’t seem to stop. My sirenic voice turns the sound into music, and it’s horrible that pain can sound lovely.

He’s gone, and I don’t know what todo.

That motherfucking Thief and his sick, twisted game. I’d played right into his hand the moment I decided to go after Galleghar. When I set foot into that cavern, the teeth of his trap had snapped shut around me.