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Erik frowns disapprovingly. "Show some respect. The prophecies guide us, however strange they may seem."

"Untwist your panties, Erik!" Lucian retorts, waving a dismissive hand. "Those cooters see omens in their goddamn breakfast cereal."

I have to choke back a laugh at that. Erik shakes his head, refusing to be baited.

Lucian isn't done. "So what's this chosen schmuck supposed to do anyway? Wave their magic dick and 'poof' eliminate all evil? Yeah, effin' right."

"Crudely put, but I share your skepticism, brother," I reply, smirking. "Yet if there's even a chance this mortal can help..."

Lucian snorts derisively. "Well, if you ask me, we're properly fucked. But sure, let's chase fairy tales. Not like we've got anything better to do, eh?"

Lucian's brand of bullshit should piss me off, yet it comes off as charming in a twisted way. Typical. He's the only one who can fling sass around and not get his ass handed to him. Annoying, sure, but the bastard's got a point—the prophecy's a real brainfuck, no two ways about it. We're gonna crack this nut, come hell or high water.

As we chew over that mess, I toss in the latest buzz—some punk 'vampire king' stirring the pot up in Seattle.

Lucian's eyes gleamed wickedly. “As it happens, I know quite a bit about that poser.”

“Then enlighten us,” I snap, out of patience for his coy games.

He grins, savoring the suspense. “Azrael fancies himself the ruler of Seattle's shadows. But he's little more than a bully with no true vision.”

I nod for him to continue. “The slick bastard's cultivated a network of minions through blackmail, force, exploitation—whatever works. He's becoming a real thorn, growing bolder every night.”

I smirk at his tirade. "So I take it you're not a fan?"

"Hell no!" Lucian fumes. "That bloated tick's been peddling corrupted blood, hoarding helpless humans like a squirrel with nuts. He's mastered the dark arts of exploitation."

He swigs his drink, continuing his profanity-laced rant. "And this Azrael douche...let me tell ya, that egotistical jackass thinks he's hot shit ruling the city. Mr. Bow Before My Awesome Vamp Powers can screw himself."

Lucian's contempt is palpable. "We gotta nail that crooked son of a bitch to the wall. Teach him you don't get to abuse your power and screw people over."

Erik growls low in his throat. "He disregards all codes and traditions! We must stop him before it's too late."

"No doubt, E-man," Lucian agrees. "We'll gather evidence and expose this fraud."

He grins roguishly. "May have to get our hands real dirty. But busting balls is what I do best!"

I ask what Lucian knows about Azrael's lair. "Get this," he reveals eagerly, "it's a giant gaudy eyesore outside city limits. A monument to that douchebag's ego."

Erik radiates barely contained rage. "We're getting in there by any means necessary. We'll find out everything."

“Relax, I have got my ear to the ground,” Lucian assures. “Rumor is this Azrael is planning something big soon. But forewarned is forearmed, right?”

He smirks, entirely unconcerned. I resist the urge to strangle him. “Well then, we’d best figure out his plans and cut them off quickly. I won’t have him jeopardizing everything.”

Lucian sighs dramatically. “Fine, fine, we’ll investigate.” His mocking tone never falters. “Honestly, you two are no fun anymore."

Erik shakes his head, suppressing a grin. " We have serious business to deal with right now, Lucian."

Lucian salutes sarcastically. “Sir, yes, sir! Let's go catch us a wannabe king.”

Lucian scans the crowds, and then his attention is back on me. "So who's this super mortal we're supposed to hunt down anyway? They got a bat symbol; they shine in the sky or some shit?"

"I was hoping you would have some insight on the matter," I state.

Lucian just shrugs. "Nope! Not a clue, big bro."

I suggest reaching out to Adrian for intel—he's our go-to for this deep lore shit. His brain's wired for cracking ancient codes and sniffing out leads.