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“I don’t.” I say, abruptly. “If I could take it all back, I would. I’m so incredibly sorry for the way I acted and the things I said. I was cruel and heartless, and I want you to know that I will carry that guilt with me for as long as I live.”
She closes her eyes for a few moments. “There are a lot of conversations we still need to have, and a lot of them are going to be hard. I will probably cry due to all the extra hormones, but we need to have them.”
“I’m ready whenever you are. I’ll do anything to prove how much I’ve changed. I will grovel, grovel, and grovel some more until you forgive me.”
She gives me a small smile. “I could get used to that.”
“You deserve it and so much more. You are incredibly sweet and caring, and I know you will be the best mom to our child.”
Her eyes gloss over as small tears form in the corner of her eyes. “See? These hormones are unpredictable.”
She rubs her fingers over my cut knuckles. They don’t hurt anymore, and even if they did, it’s only a fraction of the pain she went through.
As if she can read my thoughts, she says, “You’ve punished yourself enough, Joseph.”
I shake my head. “It’s never enough. Not for the monster I was to you. To our unborn child.”
She links her fingers with mine. “It’s time to heal. It’s time for both of us to talk about what happened and let go of the past and then move on. I don’t want our baby growing up in a self-deprecating environment. I want our child to only know love and endless support.”
“Of course. I want that, too.” I give her hand a reassuring squeeze and her face lights up.
The waiter brings our food, and it feels as if the atmosphere shifts. Alexandra and I talk and laugh like nothing ever happened. It feels as if my heart is stitching up its pieces and starting to heal.
She pops a bite of steak in her mouth and moans. “If dessert is as good as this steak, you might get lucky tonight.”
Her face blushes a deep red as she realizes she just said that out loud.
“Well, then, aren’t I just the luckiest guy in the world?” I flash her a grin before adding, “If things do go that route tonight, pleasuring you will be the highlight of my day. Hell, my entire year.”
She glances around the restaurant and whispers, “Is it bad that I want to take our meal to go and see what else can happen tonight? I’ve always wanted to try giving a blow job with whipped cream.”
Fuck. Me.
My dick hardens as the blood drains from my brain.
“Eat your dinner.” I command. “You will need the energy for what I have planned for you, but dessert can be to go.”
My heart races in my chest as I quickly chew another bite of my steak. God, I really am one lucky fucker.
Chapter Twenty-Five
ALEXANDRA
I wishI could be spontaneous and carefree and throw caution to the wind instead of always worrying about consequences.
It’s hard to eat dinner when all I can think about is Joseph taking me right here and right now on our small two-person table. I don’t care that we are in the middle of an elegant restaurant eating a meal that costs as much as a week of groceries.
The ache between my legs grows with each passing minute. I’m going to self combust if I don’t get some relief soon. The thought of taking care of myself crosses my mind, but there’s no way I can be discreet.
Not with the hormones racing through me.
I take a sip of my water and swipe my tongue along my lower lip to lick up the bead of water that dripped.
His fingers grip his fork and knife like they are his lifeline. His heated gaze bores into mine. “Do you have any idea what you are doing to me? Do you know how badly I need you right now?”
His dark stare drives me wild. I lean forward and whisper, “I could say the same to you. I’m over here feeling like I’m in heat and seconds from taking care of things myself.”
He growls a low but predatory growl. “If you do, you better be prepared for me to spread you here and eat you like you’re my Thanksgiving feast.”