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As if she can sense my confusion, she says, “I hate using cold gel on my patients. I find the warm gel to be more soothing and relaxing.”
“Well, you would be nice. I braced myself for the cold but was pleasantly surprised.”
The doctor grabs the wand and runs it over my stomach, locating the baby. A whomp whomp whomp sound echoes through the room. It sounds like someone is waving a large sheet of plastic.
“That’s your baby’s heartbeat. It’s very healthy and strong. She’s already a fighter.” The doctor explains.
“She?” I ask, while scanning the screen for confirmation.
I’m having a girl?
“She or he. I always seem to go with ‘she’. It’s an old habit. One that I should really try to break. You are still a little too early for us to tell with certainty.”
I shrug. “Well, boy or girl doesn’t matter to me. As long as I have a healthy baby, I will be one happy mama.”
She continues with the ultrasound, showing me the baby’s face, hands, and teeny tiny feet.
I feel overwhelmed, but in a good way. Tears temporarily blur my vision as a ball of emotion lodges itself into my throat.
That’s my baby. My little girl or boy. My perfect little baby.
“Your baby is growing so much.” Francesca says, like the proud aunt she is.
The doctor prints several pictures and saves the heartbeat to a disc before switching to the 4D ultrasound.
It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen or experienced before. I can see my baby. I can see its little button nose and its tiny fingers.
My baby opens its hand and reaches out toward the ultrasound wand.
A chorus of awws sound through the room as all three of us are amazed at what we are seeing.
The baby opens its mouth and kicks its leg out to stretch.
“Ow. That one hurt.”
The doctor laughs. “Be prepared for bigger kicks the bigger the baby gets.”
“Gee, Doc, you’re making me look forward to the later months.” I chuckle as the baby flips off the camera.
Francesca laughs. “Oh yeah, that’s a little Joey alright.”
The doctor finishes up and prints several pictures for me and puts the entire ultrasound on a flash drive.
When we are back in Francesca’s car, I let the tears flow. Both women stare at me with worry in their eyes.
“These are happy tears. I promise.” I swipe my tears away as I hold the ultrasound pictures close to my heart. “Thank you for this. I can’t tell you how much this means to me. Like really.”
Francesca’s eyes glaze over as if she’s on the brink of crying, too. “Thank you for letting us sit in there with you andexperience this together. When it’s my turn, we will all have to do this again.”
“Maybe in a couple of months.” I say with a grin.
“From your lips to God’s ears.” Francesca says before backing out of the parking spot and driving back to my apartment.
This was the best surprise ever and I’ll cherish these memories for the rest of my life. I just wish I could have shared this experience with Joseph.
Maybe there’s still hope for us.
Chapter Twenty-Four