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He lowered his head. “Right or wrong, I can’t stop myself from wanting to look out for you.”
“That’s very sweet?—”
His head shot up. “There’s nothingsweetabout it. Nothing at all.” He leaned forward, but pulled himself back. “God, you have no idea.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want to wrap you in my arms and take away all the hurt you feel. I want to shield you from people like Ehren and make sure no one ever causes you pain again.”
“Why?” I whispered.
“Because you deserve to have someone in your life who looks out for you. Someone who cares about you. Notsomeone, Schön,me.” He cupped my cheek. “Who looks out for you, Prisca?”
“I do.”
He nodded. “I know you do. But you don’t have to go it alone.”
Could I admit how good that sounded? How long it had been since I didn’t have to?
“Iseeyou, you know?”
My eyes opened wide. “What did you just say?”
“You heard me. I see you. It’s almost as though I can feel your thoughts. For example, right now, you’re thinking how nice it would be not to have your guard up all the time. How good it would feel to know someone had your back and not just because he’s your CO. Just because he cares about you.”
“Magnet…”
He looked up at the ceiling. “Tell me you don’t see me as some guy just trying to get in your pants.”
I reached out and touched his chest. “I don’t see you that way at all. I do believe you care about me. It’s just really hard for me to lower my walls enough to accept it.”
“How can I make it easier for you?”
My request was inappropriate. Actually, it was dangerous. The more I allowed myself to care about Magnet, the more hurt I’d suffer in the end. I spoke the words anyway. “Hold me?”
He shifted closer, took me in his arms, and pulled me against him so my head rested on his chest. Then he stroked my hair with one hand. He didn’t try to kiss me or to take it beyond a simple embrace. For the first time since I was a little girl, I truly felt cared for.
11
MAGNET
The self-imposed rules I was breaking seemed far less important now that I had Schön in my arms. As much as I wanted to kiss her, I wouldn’t yet. What I’d hold out for before I did was her trust. The only thing I didn’t know quite how to handle, though, was the matter of where she’d sleep.
I had no problem moving over to the cottage where Rogue bunked. However, that would leave Schön here alone, something I sensed would make her uncomfortable. As far as other women I could suggest move in here with her, the only other single female based here in Shere, Delfino, was still on Gozo. Well, and Ehren, but she wouldn’t be here much longer. I’d seen to that.
While on the plane, I’d drafted a brief outlining the woman’s behavior during our op. I had no doubt she would soon be on her way back to Switzerland, where it would be up to Oskar Schmid, director general of Swiss intelligence, where she went from there.
“What are you thinking about?” Schön asked.
“You.”
She sat up. “What about me?”
“While it isn’t up to me, I’d rather have you stay here in the cottage, but I’m also concerned about you being here alone.”
As if the universe were listening, or the cottage was bugged, which I was certain it wasn’t, Rogue sent a text, saying he’d forgotten Kodiak was returning from the States and bunking with him. Thus, the room he’d offered me was no longer available.
“What’s wrong?”