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“I love you too, girl. And I’m not at all jealous of that man of yours who looks like he doesn’t even need instructions to find the magic bean.”

“Magic bean?” I asked, a laugh bursting out of me. “If it helps, that lawyer man looks like he not only knows how to find and flick the bean, but also where the G-spot is and which positions to get you into to engage them both.”

“Girl, that’s just playing dirty,” Brooke grumbled as we made our way toward the back porch. “Using a woman who hasn’t been touched in three years’s sex drive against her. God, is it closer to four? Jeezus, I think it is. It’s gonna close up at this rate.”

“You are my favorite kind of ridiculous, do you know that?”

“Well, I must offer entertainment, since I have probably become the female version of a eunuch.”

“Heya, Brooke,” Coast said as we moved inside, trusting the kids couldn’t get into too much trouble with our fenced-in backyard. “What’s new?”

“I think my coochie closed up and I’m never going to be able to have sex again.”

For once, Coast looked completely taken aback.

“She’s joking,” I clarified. “She just realized how long it’s been since she was with someone.”

“So fuck the lawyer. Don’t see what the problem is.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Caught him tugging his collar when you bent over to grab the paperweight Joshua pushed off his desk.”

“Ooh, you make himflustered,” I piled on.

“Now, stop it, you two. It’s not like that.”

“He’d bend you over his desk in a heartbeat if you want it to be like that,” Coast said.

“Fine! Fine! I will bang the hot lawyer guy,” Brooke said, throwing up her hands. “Afterhe gets my divorce finalized. With no alimony. Because if he can’t get me that, he doesn’t deserve my weird, closed lady business.”

“Lady business,” Coast repeated, eyes dancing. “What happened to ‘my dripping wet, aching cunt’?”

To that, Brooke’s lips fell open.

“You read my book?”

“I read all three of ‘em,” Coast clarified. “I especially liked the scene where your very petite heroine climbed on top and ‘spun on his cock like a top.’”

“Zo, I think your man might be my biggest fan. Should I sign your tits or something?”

“What’s ‘tits’?” a little voice asked, making Brooke look up at the ceiling, wincing.

“Fudge,” she grumbled. “What was that baby? Tips? What do you need tips on?” she asked her son.

“Tits,” Joshua parroted.

“Well, you know what, you are right! That birdie out there, that was totally a tit. See? That one right there,” she said,pointing toward the bird feeder. “That’s a crested tit. Oh, and his little friend, that’s a blue tit. You know, birdies are really very interesting. They like—”

But Joshua was already walking away, beelining for one of the toys in the living room.

“Bet he never brings up tits again,” she said. “That kid hates being taught anything, I swear. Once started nodding off standing up when the zoo tour guide started to explain how elephants live in the wild.”

“You are my mom hero,” I told her.

“Yes, well, with the mouth on your man here, you’re going to need all my tips for distraction.”

“We decided that Lainey is just going to learn that Daddy is allowed to say a lot of words that no one else is,” I said, loving the way Coast’s eyes warmed at that title.