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To kneel for her.

To kneel for the woman who looked me in the fucking eyes and chose someone else.

Chose something else.

Chose war instead of me.

And yet?—

She didn’t kill me.

That is what fucking destroys me.

If only she had?—

If she had run me through, left me bleeding out on this battlefield, ended it where I stood?—

I could have believed she didn’t feel anything for me anymore.

Maybe, I could have told myself she was truly lost.

Perhaps, I might have detested her the way I need to.

But she didn’t. She let me live.

That is worse than anything I’ve ever experienced.

It means my Nairastill fighting it.

It means somewhere, beneath the relic’s power, beneath the monster they are trying to make her into, she still remembers.

Still remembers me.

That is a cruelty I’m not sure I can survive.

Thunder rumbles in the distance.

The smell of rain is thick in the air, mixing with the iron tang of blood and death.

My men are still fighting. Still killing.

But I don’t see anyone at all. Not past the place she just stood.

Not past the blood still staining her blade.

I remember the words brushed my ear when she whispered those last words.

"It took you long enough."

I want to laugh.How can I leave her alone when deep down I know she exists?

Is the remaining part of her worth fighting for?

The first drops of the rain hit my skin, cold against the heat of my blood.

I will have to choose.

Between chasing her?—