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December 17th

Winter air nips at my bare arms, sending a shiver racing down my limbs. In the distance, waves collide with jagged cliffs, and I focus on the rhythm until it storms through me. The darkness steals my vision of the sea, but that sound is a potent elixir, an inducer of the mental fog I crave.

God, it’s all I want right now.

Being near the ocean does that to me. Soothes the turmoil. Calms my breathing. Distorts all the things I can’t bring myself to face. It’s a small mercy, this gift of oblivion.

Beautiful oblivion.

Despite the frigid air, I’m content to stand on the edge of nothing, because I feel nothing here. It would be so easy to let go and fly, to claim the type of nothingness that’s permanent.

Eternal.

Does peace exist in such a place? I can’t help but think it does.

“Novalee!”

A sharp voice tears through my solitude, and I pivot to find Liam standing behind me on the balcony. In the moonless dark, his coppery hair masquerades as black—a striking contrast to the snowflakes drifting between us. One by one, they land in silent defeat on the floor.

I don’t remember how I got here, but I resent him for interrupting the only bit of peace I’ve had since…

My stomach revolts at where that thought tries to stray.

“How long have you been out here?” Liam’s gaze lifts over my shoulder, chasing a view the night won’t give him.

The sun must have set hours ago, though that doesn’t seem right. Wasn’t I just swirling a spoon through thick, tasteless oatmeal at the breakfast table? It should bother me that I can’t recall the time between then and now, but it doesn’t.

“Novalee.” His insistent tone is on the gruff side as he takes my hand. “Did you hear me?”

“What?” Blinking, I fixate on his thumb as it glides back and forth across the back of my hand. That gesture is hypnotic, trance-like…

Going back and forth and back and forth and back?—

“Let’s get you inside.”

I jump at his voice, which only makes his forehead wrinkle in concern. Gently, he guides me through the door and into my private quarters in the House of Aries. The next thing I know, I’m settled in a chair, cocooned in a warm blanket, while Liam rubs life back into my arms through the soft material.

“How long were you out there?” His brows knit together. “You’re frozen to the bone.”

His jacket and tie are absent, and my gaze stalls on his collarbone. He’s dressed casually for the evening, with the top three buttons of his shirt undone. Something about his skin beckons. Without conscious thought, I work my arms out of the blanket and trail my fingers over his throat.

He’s smooth and warm and?—

“Novalee.” His thick murmur halts my hand. “You’re worrying me.”

“Why?”

“Because I found you freezing in the snow,” he says, brows arching in disbelief, “without a jacket or a pair of shoes. What were you doing out there?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

I’m sure if I think long and hard, I can come up with an explanation, but I don’t have the energy. Besides, the sad truth is…

“I don’t remember.”