Page 39

I glance over my shoulder one last time through the floor-to-ceiling windows along the back of the Pack House. Nobody is even paying attention to me leaving, fine by me, I would rather be out there anyways. Taking off down the path leading to the back of our pack lands, the sun dapples through the canopy of the trees, and a soft breeze blows through.

It’s a beautiful summer day, one that shouldn’t be spent inside anyways. The trickle of the river sounds in the distance and I feel my spirits lifting the closer I get to it. Out here, I don’t have to worry about people liking me, pretending to be interested in what I have to say, or which boy is going to talk without listening.

Out here it’s me, the wild flowers standing tall and proud, the deep green grass swaying in the wind, the crystal-clear water moving over the river rocks, the mountains standing guard, and the fluffy white clouds hugging the bright blue sky.

Here there isn’t stress or questions about my place in the world. I can just exist in the peace of it all.

As if he too was drawn to our space today, Shadow is already sitting along the river bank, but this time he’s on my side. Curious about his change of sides, I slowly walk up to where he’ssitting. The fur above his paws wet from crossing the river, he sits, watching the fish swim down the stream.

His head turns when I come up next to him, his ears dropping when he sees my face. As if he knows without me saying anything that something’s weighing on me.

Dropping my bag down on the grass, I practically collapse down onto it. Huffing when my tailbone hits the ground and I shuffle my feet underneath my legs. Shadow’s head quirks to the side as if to say “That bad huh.”

“Yeah, it’s that bad Shadow,” I say as I lean back on my arms and close my eyes. The warm sun caresses my face like a mother caring for her child.

Something cold and damp touches my thigh causing me to pop my eyes open and look. Shadow’s paw sits softly on my thigh as he watches me.

“Fine, I’ll tell you.” I close my eyes back, not wanting to say this while looking at him. It’s almost like confessing feelings to a lover, but that can’t be right. I don’t even know who Shadow is in human form. “As I’m sure you’re aware, Bestiare was Friday.” I don’t wait for any sort of confirmation. I’ve already figured out he’s a wolf in our pack.

“A man came up to me. Which no real shock there. Kinda the point, right? What’s shocking though? He was wearing a mask that looked a lot like you.” Peeking my eyes open, I see if Shadow makes any sort of movement in recognition of what I’m saying. He only shifts to fully face me, fully invested.

Closing my eyes, I continue. “First thought? It was you. That I finally figured out who you were. That one is still there, in the back of my mind. Like you know who I am, but I still don’t know who you are. But then the masked man talked, and it was the voice that’s been haunting my dreams every night. The one that never reveals their face to me. I guess that’s fitting since the first time I see the voice in the flesh, it’s still masked to me. I feel likeI’m going crazy, Shadow. Between the dreams, the gifts, and now Bestiare, I just want to know who they are and why I’m so drawn to them. Now I’m even more confused. Are you the masked man from last night that sounds like the man from my dreams or are you someone completely different?” The only sounds around us are the water moving, our shared breathing, and some birds in the distance.

Shadow moves, coming to my side, allowing me to lean on his shoulder and touch him for the first time. His gray fur is soft underneath my cheek, his warmth seeping into my soul, relaxing a piece of me. Like this is the most right thing to happen to me lately.

“Odessa claims that it’s early mating signs. As if all this means that they are our fated mate and the Goddess is just leading me there early. I’m not sure about that one, but it seems to fit, I guess. You know the craziest part?” I slide my head up, looking at his side profile. His ear twitches down, letting me know he’s listening. “I’ve never even been attracted to other males. I mean sure I’m a teenage girl. Who doesn’t think Timothée Chalamet is hot? I mean, maybe not you, but then again, who knows? Maybe you’re one of those guys comfortable enough with your masculinity to agree with me that he’s hot.”

Shadow lets out a huff and I can’t quite tell if it’s in humor or exasperation. I let out a soft laugh just imagining what he’s thinking right now.

“Anyways, I’ve been consumed by this man and I don’t understand why it’s different. Then the night of Bestiare, wrapped in his arms as we swayed to the beat of the drums, I almost let myself believe that maybe Odes was right. Maybe this feels like this because he is my fated mate. I didn’t even get a chance to ask who he was, though. Like the mystery he is, he disappeared before the sun finished rising in the sky. Leaving me with nothing. Well, not nothing exactly.”

Reaching into my bag, I pull out the compass. Holding it between us, the arrow points directly to Shadow as I hold it up for him to see.

“He left this in my pocket.” Flipping it over so he can see the back, I traced the engraved words with my thumb. “‘You know where to find me’.” I’m lost in the curve of the words when Shadow nudges me with his muzzle.

“Sorry, anyways, I plan to chat with Thorne today. Because if I know at least one thing, it’s that he’s the one who created it. Surely, he has to know who commissioned it, don’t you think?”

Shadow tilts his head giving that adorably confused look that animals have when they don’t understand something.

“Someone asked Thorne, the black bear leather worker, to make this. This wasn’t something the mystery wolf picked up and just deposited. It has thoughts, feelings, and meaning behind it. Kind of like this little infinity symbol above the words. He wanted me to figure out who he is. But I only have one guess, and it can’t be right.”

Shadow taps my wrist with his paw, as if he is trying to help me figure it out. I let out a sigh, wishing they would just tell me who they are. He pulls my arm with his paw. Wrapping my arm around him, I hug him.

“Thanks Shadow for listening to me. I’m sure there are a million other things you would rather do than listen to teenage angst.” His head hooks around my back, holding me the only way he can.

Leaning back, I look up into the sky, seeing the sun has moved into the afternoon hours of the day.

“Ugh, I got to get back. Between testing, finals, and graduation preparations, this week is going to be non-stop. Plus, I want to stop by Thorne’s leather shop and see if he can tell me who it was…thanks again Shadow.”

Standing up, I brush off the dirt and leaves from my leggings before grabbing my bag and throwing the strap over my head. “See you next time Shadow. Probably won’t be until after graduation.” Waving, I walk off in the direction of the bears’ territory. Thankfully Thorne’s shop is right on the edge and I can sneak in there.

Twenty minutes of hiking across our territory, I find the bears’ territory nestled up against the mountains. They love the rocks, dense forest, and being further away from the hustle of our small town. The structures are all made of rocks and thick wood, making for some of the most stunning homes. Although, like everyone else’s territories, we aren’t allowed on their lands. I’ve just seen some while hiking through to find more of the wildlife I adore.

The smoke stack above Thorne’s shop has a steady stream of smoke coming out of it, letting me know he’s working in there. Glancing around to make sure nobody is looking, I sneak around the wall of his shop. When I get to the front where the path leads to the left and the right, I make sure there’s nobody to catch me.

Quickly running up the two steps of the wooden porch, I throw the door open, and slide in. Praying to the Goddess that I wasn’t caught.

A low rumble of a growl comes from behind me. Like two boulders grinding against each other. “What are you doing in my shop?”