Page 55
Intense, helpless grief ruptured behind my ribs, and my chest collapsed in agony. With the pain, came the events of the night, crashing into me, each one punching that painful spot, over and over. The bullet in Michio’s chest, the intimate moment with Jesse, Annie’s premonition, the Drone’s survival, the evolving aphids. And the final punch…I might never see Michio again. Never feel his arms around me again. Never taste his lips. Hear his voice.
I buckled at the waist and gripped the concrete ledge, my mind shutting down as if trying to evade the painful reality. He’d left to kill Aiman. To protect me. Because he loved me. Everything else blurred into one giant Fuck.
Jesse and Roark stood on either side of me, their eyes gentle and watchful, and their weapons now sheathed. They remained quiet, giving me time to compose myself. But worry radiated from their taut postures. They needed answers.
I sucked in a few breaths, pulled myself together, and shared what Michio had told me. As I spoke, Roark offered me his hand, and I twined my fingers with his. Then I braced myself as I finished the recitation with, “We had sex.”
Jesse grew deadly still beside me, as if everything from his chin down had been forgotten in lieu of whatever was crashing and burning inside his head. He just stood there, expressionless, his eyes on me but not really looking at me. He didn’t blink. Didn’t speak.
I wasn’t sure he was breathing. “Say something.”
That got me a blink. His eyes cleared, focusing on mine, his voice in a state of suspended feeling. “I’m processing.”
I shot Roark a look. “Then you say something.”
His eyelids half-shuttered, framed by a tangle of blond dreads, and his mouth crooked up as if he were on the verge of a colorful insult. But the jade of his eyes became harder, unsmiling, consumed by some internal decision and darkened by a ruminating brow.
Then a somber line replaced the sarcastic smirk. “He didn’t bite ye. Didn’t take ye off the property. And didn’t force ye to have sex.” He rolled a broad shoulder. “Fair play.”
Roark was the epitome of agreeable. He was the wisecracker, the counselor, the roll-with-the-punches guy. So it was easy to forget that when he did strike, it was with lethal decapitation. And beneath that happy-go-lucky exterior, he nurtured some serious passions, one of them being a fierce protection of my heart.
Which was why I wasn’t surprised when he shifted into my space, his muscled chest flexing and pushing around me. “But if he tells another spoof, I'll smash his bloody testicles until they turn square and fester.”
Spoof? “He didn’t really lie, per se.”
“He omitted. Same difference.”
My hackles went up, and I bit my bottom lip to keep from lashing out. Michio had kept his secrets to protect me.
“There was never any ill-intent,” I said.
“Hey, I get your need to defend him.” He looked down at me, his brogue warm and thick. “But he’s a risk.”
“It's not about the risk. It's about persevering, and shattering the boundaries we’re facing, and learning from it. Becoming better people for it.” I stared across the hush gloom of the valley, my skin dripping from the humidity. “Michio’s secrecy wasn’t acceptable. But he wasn’t the only one keeping secrets.” I glanced at the silent man at my side.
Jesse strode away, stopping at the far-side of the roof to collect my knives, his expression concealed by shadows.
Roark nodded at Jesse. “That one’s a risk, too. If he puts a child in ye, and that child takes your life, to hell with persevering. I wouldn’t want to.”
My womb tightened against his words. “I still have the IUD, and he’s…” I peeked at Jesse’s dark silhouette. “Determinedly abstinent.”
“And pissed.” Jesse marched back to us and handed me the knives. “I told you not to fuck him.”
The disgust in his voice made me feel dirty, cheap, and yeah, really fucking defensive.
I turned to face him, straightening to meet his furious gaze. “If it had been you instead of him, with your fertility taken away and a protective need to leave me, I would’ve done the same thing. I would’ve shown you I love you the best way I know how.”
Fire burned in his eyes as he said slowly and harshly, “I would never ask that of you.”
“You wouldn’t have to!”
“He’s afraid, love.” Roark locked eyes with Jesse. Something unspoken passed between them, something I didn’t understand, then Roark continued. “A little rivalry and jealousy is healthy. Jesse’s jealousy isn’t from greed but from love, and it’s nursed with worry.” His gaze lowered to mine. “Worry that he’ll lose you to a man who can offer you intimacy without killing you.”
Jesse glared at Roark like he wanted to throttle him but didn’t move a muscle. Nor did he deny what the priest had said.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55 (Reading here)
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169
- Page 170
- Page 171
- Page 172
- Page 173
- Page 174
- Page 175
- Page 176
- Page 177
- Page 178
- Page 179
- Page 180
- Page 181
- Page 182
- Page 183
- Page 184
- Page 185
- Page 186
- Page 187
- Page 188
- Page 189
- Page 190
- Page 191
- Page 192
- Page 193
- Page 194
- Page 195
- Page 196
- Page 197
- Page 198
- Page 199
- Page 200
- Page 201
- Page 202
- Page 203
- Page 204
- Page 205
- Page 206
- Page 207
- Page 208
- Page 209
- Page 210
- Page 211
- Page 212
- Page 213
- Page 214
- Page 215
- Page 216
- Page 217
- Page 218
- Page 219
- Page 220
- Page 221
- Page 222
- Page 223
- Page 224
- Page 225
- Page 226
- Page 227
- Page 228
- Page 229
- Page 230
- Page 231
- Page 232
- Page 233
- Page 234
- Page 235
- Page 236
- Page 237