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I was nolonger dying, and yet I was. I was drowning in pain, suffocating on my emotions. I forced myself not to call out to Azazel and stop him from literally carrying out the justice my people deserved.
Jame Asher was a monster. My heart burned for retribution.
But it was also dying.
Ah, gods, but everything hurt. I pressed my palms to my forehead and rocked where I sat. This must be a nightmare, a terrible reverie that I would wake from soon.
I didn’t almost die, I wasn’t nearly killed by my lover.
Grandmaddox’s withered hand touched my shoulder. She gave it a squeeze. “He almost got you, child, didn’t he?”
Hedidget me. That was a terrible truth I had to live with.
“He will be dealt with. You both will,” she said ominously.
At this point, I didn’t care what my fate was. Death had to be better thanthis.
Around me, the last of the affected Infernari began to stand. Several of them glared at me. A few wore spooked expressions. Never had something like this happened to us, never had we all been incapacitated so thoroughly and completely.
Of course a clever human would stumble upon this secret: that through my connection I had the power to kill every last Infernari.
I was shaken to my core. I had never imagined anyone would do anything quite this cruel, and by my mate, no less.
And even now, in spite of my terrible, terrible anger, my body trembled as I fought the urge to protect Asher, the very man who’d tried to kill me minutes ago.
I moaned as I rocked. I would go mad with grief, I was sure of it.
The worst agony, though, came from the few Infernari who stared down at me with pity. It shamed me. I’d nearly killed them all, and they feltpityfor me.
Yes, death would be kinder than this.
As my kin helped each other to their feet, someone crouched at my side. I saw his hooves and heard the jangle of his bone necklace right before his deep, resonating voice spoke. “Don’t hide your face from me, Lana Malesuis. You are an Infernarus, the very magic of the world runs through your veins.”
My body trembled all over as my connection with Asher burned deep beneath my chest. I swear it was growing still, despite everything.
Slowly, I dropped my hands, my shoulders slumping forward. I could barely look at Clades; I’d almost killed him because I’d been too naïve, too gullible.
“Don’t let them see you weak,” he said. “You are the princeps of Abyssos. This doesn’t change that.”
Seeing pity in my comrades’ eyes had cut like a knife, but Clades’ words... they broke me altogether.
I let out a choked sob and, on instinct, I reached for the Infernarus, embracing him as I’d so often seen the natives here do. I buried my face in his chest and I sobbed. And I didn’t care that this sort of closeness was far too intimate for our kind, especially under these circumstances. Somewhere along the way I’d become a bit selfish, a bit fickle, a bit clever.
A bit human.
Clades’ arms hung at his sides until he realized that I wasn’t letting go. And then, reluctantly, I felt him loosely clasp me back. I heard him chuff through his nose, his hot breath stirring my hair.
“We need to leave, Lana. The primus will want to see you. There will be a formal inquisition. You will take responsibility for all that has happened.”
I stiffened in his arms. He was right, of course. I would have to answer for everything I had so carelessly let happen.
I began to nod, pulling away from Clades.
“I will do all that I can for you,” he said, his voice echoing off the walls.
I dusted myself off and stood, wiping away my tears as I pulled myself together. I straightened my back. “You have always been kind to me, my friend,” I said to him. “But I won’t involve you in this.” I would just bring him down with me. “I am not afraid of the primus’s justice.”
By the look on Clades’ face, he was. He rose, his giant frame towering over me, and one of his hands fell heavy on my shoulder. I glanced from him to it.
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