Page 147
Still, I didn’t let go.
“You’re awfully quiet,” she said, trying to sound teasing.
“I’m nervous.” That wasn’t entirely a lie.
“You don’t have to be,” she said. “I’ll protect you.”
I winced, my sorrow bordering on nausea. How could I do this to someone so pure, someone so brave, someone so precious as Lana?
It was unthinkable.
“I don’t know what’s bothering you,” she whispered, “but it’s going to be okay... I promise.”
When I didn’t answer, she stopped me and stood on tiptoe to kiss me, her lips urgent against my own. “Ipromise.” When she pulled back, her luminous eyes mesmerized me, moved me... and in that moment I came closer to changing my mind than I ever had.
It would be so easy to surrender to my feelings for her.
So easy to give in.
So easy to lay down my gun and give them my blood in exchange for an oath.
A chance to walk away with my life, my conscience, my future.
My girl.
I could whisk Lana away to paradise, lay with her on sunny beaches, swim naked in tropical coves, make mind-blowing love to her under the stars until we collapsed, utterly exhausted, at dawn.
It would be so easy to fall in love with her.
So easy to be happy.
The Infernari were an honorable, proud species. If they agreed to let me surrender, they would be true to their word. I knew they would.
It was humans who connived and backstabbed and cheated to eke out every advantage they possibly could. It was humans who hungered and raped and lusted, it was humans who plagued the Earth. It was humans who deserved retribution.
It would be so easy.
But then the moment passed, leaving me with a cold ache in my heart.
“Come on, let’s not keep them waiting.” I pushed past her, my insides twisting ever tighter.
What I did today would doom me to a lifetime of guilt and regret.
But I’d given up on happiness a long time ago.
The stairs deposited us in a large, dimly lit cavern. At the opposite end, five rock columns formed the pentagram of the portal. The air around them shimmered, as if giving off heat waves. The hairs on my forearms instantly rose, pulled toward its rippling core.
A gateway to hell.
While I stiffened at the sight, Lana breathed out her relief. The last portal she’d sought in a cave, she had found in ruin, thanks to me.
My ever-scheming brain kicked into gear. A masonry drill bit ought to do it. Punch a hole in each of those columns, slide in five sticks of dynamite, run the cables to the surface, and then...BOOM.
But I wasn’t here to blow up the portal, and now, of all times, my conniving thoughts disgusted me.
I stepped forward, and the crunch under my boot echoed around the chamber.
Bone fragments.
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