Page 97

But my mind is spinning out of control at the thought of having to stay overnight here. I’m certain I would rather die than stay here.

I’d rather be covered in red ants.

Or rolled down a hill in a barrel full of nails.

Or covered in honey and thrust into a bear den.

“Ziva,” Temra says cautiously, like she needs to talk me down from a ledge.

She just might.

I swallow, unable to take my eyes off the towerlike homes in the distance.

“Okay, and we’re just going to turn this way for a moment.” Temra grabs my reins and turns my mare around, back toward the road we just traveled on. “And breathe, Ziva.”

“Stop coddling me,” I snap. Then, “No, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. It’s just so big. And—”

Kellyn steers his horse in front of me so I’m forced to look at him. He eyes my face carefully before asking, “What are you afraid of?”

“Don’t act all surprised. You’ve seen me at my worst before.” So embarrassing. The way he witnessed my fit in the woods.

“I’m just wondering what’s causing it. I want to understand.”

Why? “It’s the people. I don’t want to be surrounded by so many.”

He quirks his head to the side. “They’re not going to hurt you.”

“If it was a rational fear that I could just explain away to myself, believe me, I would have done it by now. This isn’t something I can control. It’s nothing you can fix. It’s just something I live with.”

Kellyn opens his mouth, but Temra interrupts him. “I have a fear of spiders. I know most of them aren’t poisonous. I knowmost of them don’t even bite. I know I’m way bigger than they are. Doesn’t matter. I see a spider and I lose it. We all have something like that. Don’t you give Ziva a hard time because you don’t understand hers.”

Again, I think the mercenary tries to defend himself, when Petrik says, “I don’t like being alone in the dark.”

Kellyn snaps his head in the scholar’s direction. “Because monsters might come after you?”

Petrik ignores him. “One time I was in the library all alone, and someone blew out the candles, not knowing I was still reading. I had to feel my way to the exit.” Petrik takes a deep breath, trying to dispel the thought.

Then we all look to Kellyn expectantly.

“What? I don’thaveany irrational fears.”

“Liar,” Temra says. “Everybody has one.”

“Well, I don’t.”

Petrik turns to me. “I think someone has an irrational fear of being vulnerable.” He almost sings the last word.

Kellyn narrows his eyes. “I do not.”

“Oh, he definitely does,” Temra agrees.

I can’t help it, I’m grinning like an idiot. I needed these people on this journey. I couldn’t have done it without them. Was there a higher power who knew that? Were the Sisters involved? Or was it fate?

I don’t feel any better about the city in general, but just knowing these three are with me gives me strength.

I turn my horse around.

No one tries to talk to us or welcome us into the city. People go about their business and keep to themselves. A young gentleman walks two dogs on a lead. An older woman carries bags of groceries toward her home, and no one offers to help her.