Page 82
Story: Blade of Secrets
I shouldn’t feel as though Petrik is taking my sister from me. He’s not. And yet—
I begin to feel like I don’t quite fit here anymore.
Which is probably ridiculous, but I feel it all the same.
I wander from our camp, as I so often do when my help’s not needed, but damn it all, Kellyn’s following me. I see him out of the corner of my eyes, keeping his distance yet watching over me.
“You’re hovering,” I say.
“We were recently attacked, and there’s every reason to expect more ambushes.”
Oh.
I’d honestly forgotten his whole purpose was to keep us safe. And he’s doing just that. He’s protecting me. Not trying to get me alone.
What am I supposed to do? Just pretend like he’s not there?
As if.
I want to say something. Maybe apologize for not telling him about Kymora? But I’m still angry at him, and the whole conversation would only be uncomfortable anyway.
But isn’t silence worse?
He surprises me by talking first. “I don’t want to leave things as they are now.”
“Me neither,” I answer. Then I blurt, “I’m sorry for not telling you about the warlord. You had a right to know.”
“I did.” His voice has grown incredibly soft.
“I didn’t mean to put you in danger. I was only thinking about my sister. I needed to keep her safe. I should have taken the time to think about who else I might be hurting by letting them aid us. I’m so sorry. I don’t hold your leaving us against you.”
After a pause, he says, “I’m sorry about your sister. About what happened in Thersa. If I can’t make it right, then how can I make it better?”
I turn to face him; the sun is sinking, and I can barely make out his expression through the space between us.
But it’s so sincere, so open, it nearly takes my breath away.
“Why do you care?” I ask. “You’re leaving us. We’ll never see each other again. So why does it matter?”
“If I did stay, would that make it better? Do you want me to stay?”
Why do I feel like that question is asking more than one thing?
“Would you stay if I asked?” I honestly want to know.
He’s quiet, but he meets my eyes. My every instinct is to look away, but I force myself to hold steady. Not just to prove to myself that I can do it, but because I need to convey my seriousness.
“If it were just you and just me, then yes, I would.”
“But it’s not,” I say. There’s Temra and Petrik. Why does that matter? What does he mean by that?
“But it’s not,” he repeats.
I don’t say anything, but Kellyn’s footsteps grow closer.
“You remember when I brought up my family?” he says.
I nod.
I begin to feel like I don’t quite fit here anymore.
Which is probably ridiculous, but I feel it all the same.
I wander from our camp, as I so often do when my help’s not needed, but damn it all, Kellyn’s following me. I see him out of the corner of my eyes, keeping his distance yet watching over me.
“You’re hovering,” I say.
“We were recently attacked, and there’s every reason to expect more ambushes.”
Oh.
I’d honestly forgotten his whole purpose was to keep us safe. And he’s doing just that. He’s protecting me. Not trying to get me alone.
What am I supposed to do? Just pretend like he’s not there?
As if.
I want to say something. Maybe apologize for not telling him about Kymora? But I’m still angry at him, and the whole conversation would only be uncomfortable anyway.
But isn’t silence worse?
He surprises me by talking first. “I don’t want to leave things as they are now.”
“Me neither,” I answer. Then I blurt, “I’m sorry for not telling you about the warlord. You had a right to know.”
“I did.” His voice has grown incredibly soft.
“I didn’t mean to put you in danger. I was only thinking about my sister. I needed to keep her safe. I should have taken the time to think about who else I might be hurting by letting them aid us. I’m so sorry. I don’t hold your leaving us against you.”
After a pause, he says, “I’m sorry about your sister. About what happened in Thersa. If I can’t make it right, then how can I make it better?”
I turn to face him; the sun is sinking, and I can barely make out his expression through the space between us.
But it’s so sincere, so open, it nearly takes my breath away.
“Why do you care?” I ask. “You’re leaving us. We’ll never see each other again. So why does it matter?”
“If I did stay, would that make it better? Do you want me to stay?”
Why do I feel like that question is asking more than one thing?
“Would you stay if I asked?” I honestly want to know.
He’s quiet, but he meets my eyes. My every instinct is to look away, but I force myself to hold steady. Not just to prove to myself that I can do it, but because I need to convey my seriousness.
“If it were just you and just me, then yes, I would.”
“But it’s not,” I say. There’s Temra and Petrik. Why does that matter? What does he mean by that?
“But it’s not,” he repeats.
I don’t say anything, but Kellyn’s footsteps grow closer.
“You remember when I brought up my family?” he says.
I nod.
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