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My question was directed at Kaylee, who looked at the floor in guilty silence. She stayed that way, not giving me a straight answer, until I got back on my feet, my anger at her non-response getting the best of me.

“You pushed me back to them after knowing I couldn’t remember them—remember Cherie—for what? Why would you do that? I deserve a real answer, Kaylee.”

“Fine.” That finally snapped her out of it, forcing her to make eye contact as she sighed. “I thought that….maybe, if you’d had some time to build up enough new memories that you’d be able to move past it. The compulsion was going to wear off now that Cherie was gone, we all knew that it was just a matter of time—and look at you! Itworked! You could be cowering right now, but instead you’re screaming at me, not because I pushed you back onto the laps of monsters but because you missed all that time with them.”

At her words, my entire body deflated, most of my built-up anger suddenly gone and replaced with tiredness. I flopped myself down on the couch next to her, leaning back far enough that I could look at the ceiling.

As much as I still wanted to be mad about the lying, they were right. Itdidwork.I wasn’t afraid of them at all, I justmissedthem.

I wished I’d gotten the time to grieve Cherie, to say goodbye. And to support my coven through their grief. Be there… Help if I could.

But I wondered…Would I have been a help at all?

A bump to my knee had me looking up at Danny, one of the shit beers they always had onhand offered in their outstretched hand. I twisted the cap and took a long sip from the bottle, letting the bitter bubbles dance over my tongue.

Then I remembered everything I’d stuffed in my bag and went to get the flash drive. “Can you play this for me?”

I watched as they got their computer and cast it to the TV.

Tears sprung to my eyes when I saw Cherie’s deep brown eyes and her dark hair pulled back the way it always had been. Danny gave me a moment before pressing play.

Hello,ma puce.

I am so sorry I’m not doing this in person. For the first time in my very long life, I feel like a coward for not coming to you myself. But there’s nothing that can be done now.

I’m sure by the time you’re seeing this, I won’t be around anymore, and the compulsion has dissipated. I’m so sorry I can’t say goodbye. As head of the coven, I’ve always had to make hard decisions for the good of all of us, and this is one. No matter how you feel about me, there’s a few things I need you to know.

I took a shaky breath, flinching as Kaylee reached over and wiped one of my tears away, giving me an encouraging smile.With that small bit of reassurance, I was able to turn my attention back to the screen.

First, I want you to know that no matter what, O is still your home, one you’re always welcome in. It’s as much yours as it is any of ours, and it will always be that way.

Second, please don’t hold this against the coven. I’m sure by now everyone knows and has some choice words of their own for me, but I did what had to be done, and I can’t feel sorry about that. Juniper and Ren, if you’re watching this, please don’t throw anything at the screen. I’m not really there, darlings, and as much as you were against this, I hope that you have all found peace with it.

I couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped me then. I wondered where Juniper was right now. I wondered if Ren had told her yet.

I hope the compulsion worked.And I hope that, if you’re watching this, you all found your way back to each other and love each other again. You all meant so much to me and so much to one another. Now, and in all hard times, lean on that. Even if you don’t quite remember it all, the feelings are still there. They will all come back in time. So be there for each other and hold each other as long as you can. You never know when you won’t be able to anymore.

I watched a single tear run down her cheek, falling to her lap below.

Je vous aime, and I’ll see you all in the afterlife one day.

The screen froze as the video ended, and I glanced at Cherie one last time before grabbing the remote and shutting the screen off, watching it fade to black.

They let me sit in silence for a few moments, taking it all in.

“She looked as good as ever,” Kaylee said, trying to lighten the mood.

I barked a laugh, but it only brought more tears.

Kaylee cuddled me on one side and Danny on the other. None of us said anything, just taking in the silent comfort of one another.

I couldn’t lie; I waspissedat Cherie. She took away my ability to say goodbye, but at the same time, I understood. From what everyone said, I was inconsolable, afraid of the people I loved so dearly, and wasting away. Given the same situation, I’m not sure what I would have done.

Cherie always did what she had to for the family. Always fell on the sword to keep us safe. And though at times like this I cursed her for it, I also understood it was done out of a love so deep I could hardly fathom it.

One that led us here.

And I couldn’t be mad at her for getting me back where I belonged.