Page 116
Storm hums behind me. “You know that’s some made-up bullshit, right?”
I scoff, my eyebrows dropping as I frown at him.
“You don’t know what it’s like to pull yourself up from the bottom. To have your intelligence questioned because you went to public school and don’t have a pedigree behind your name. My father sacrificed everything, built our lives brick by brick, so I could succeed. It’s my responsibility to make sure my family’s legacy is the brightest it can be, and I don’t want to fail. Iwon’tfail. But that doesn’t mean the shit isn’t going to be hard.”
Storm is silent for a long moment, but I refuse to face him.
I know I’m likely being unfair, but it’s also true. Storm grew up witheverythingthe material world has to offer. The best schools, more money than my parents would earn in a hundred lifetimes, people waiting on his every need to make his life easy—his wealth and privilege allowing him to experience life in a completely different reality from mine.
“You think I don’t know what it’s like to be judged? To be the only brown face in a sea of whiteness and to be talked about like I’m sub-human just because I have more melanin in my skin than them? Shae, be so for real right now.”
My shoulders rise and his words cause me to spin around to face him. Storm sits on the bed in the spot I vacated. He looks relaxed with his hands dangling between his bent knees, but the fire in his emotions is plain to see.
“I’m not saying you haven’t experienced prejudice, Storm. I can only imagine how completely fucked it must have been to be surrounded by people who wanted to ignore or erase your Blackness. But you can’t sit here and tell me you haven’t benefited from the systems of oppression you decry and your relative position to whiteness.”
He stares at me hard, and I realize this is the conversation wedefinitelyneed to have.
“I don’t deny any of that. In fact, the reality of my circumstances has been a slap to the face virtually every day of my life, Shae.”
Well, that makes me feel a bit like an ass.
“I’ll ask again, Shae. Do you want to go to Harvard? Because it really seems like you don’t.”
That bubbling feeling in my stomach shoots to my toes, then back up to my throat. I feel like I’m going to hurl everywhere.
“You remember when we were stuck in that elevator?” he asks suddenly, and I tilt my chin down in a sharp affirming jerk. Of course I remember, how could I forget?
“We talked about a lot of things, but once you started telling me about mPOWER, it was like you didn’t want to stop. And that’s not me saying that I minded, but more to show you a very blatant fact: You’re an entrepreneur, Shae. It’s your vocation to build businesses, to create something out of nothing. Theory doesn’t light you up. Getting your hands dirty and beinginit does.”
I take a step back, shaking my head as I wrap my arms around myself. Maybe if I get far enough away from him, I won’t have to listen to his world-exploding declarations.
He continues, despite my retreat.
“You’ve never spoken about economics with the same energy you do when talking about the companies you’ve helped. Hell, you were like a supernova when working on our presentation. Sure, I did a lot of the number crunching and data validation, but the concept for BronzeLight? The premise that got us an A when Hansennevergives As? That was all you. You lovethatworld, Shae, and in the time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you excited, truly excited, about the idea of Harvard. So why are you denying yourself? Why are you following a path that you obviously don’t want to take?”
I side-step the question.
“Who do I look like to turn downHarvard?It’s Harvard!”
Storm blinks at me as if he can’t believe I’m completely ignoring the harsh truth he’s thrown out.
“I know some real idiot assholes that go there,” he says, his words stiff. “And, I have to point out that you’re not answering my question. Not with words, at least.”
Enough. This is enough of this argument.
“Goddamn it, why are you making this so hard?” I snap. My teeth click together when I finish the sentence, and I resist grinding them.
He blinks a few times with a strange expression before he looks down at the floor, his jaw tensing.
“You know what, it’s fine. I…sorry,” I say.
Smile.
I hope it doesn’t look like I’m baring my teeth.
“Shae, c’mon, let’s not let this ruin the nig?—”
“Don’t worry about it, Storm,” I press. I give him one hard look, noting how his shoulders slump as he runs a hand over his face, then I turn away.
I scoff, my eyebrows dropping as I frown at him.
“You don’t know what it’s like to pull yourself up from the bottom. To have your intelligence questioned because you went to public school and don’t have a pedigree behind your name. My father sacrificed everything, built our lives brick by brick, so I could succeed. It’s my responsibility to make sure my family’s legacy is the brightest it can be, and I don’t want to fail. Iwon’tfail. But that doesn’t mean the shit isn’t going to be hard.”
Storm is silent for a long moment, but I refuse to face him.
I know I’m likely being unfair, but it’s also true. Storm grew up witheverythingthe material world has to offer. The best schools, more money than my parents would earn in a hundred lifetimes, people waiting on his every need to make his life easy—his wealth and privilege allowing him to experience life in a completely different reality from mine.
“You think I don’t know what it’s like to be judged? To be the only brown face in a sea of whiteness and to be talked about like I’m sub-human just because I have more melanin in my skin than them? Shae, be so for real right now.”
My shoulders rise and his words cause me to spin around to face him. Storm sits on the bed in the spot I vacated. He looks relaxed with his hands dangling between his bent knees, but the fire in his emotions is plain to see.
“I’m not saying you haven’t experienced prejudice, Storm. I can only imagine how completely fucked it must have been to be surrounded by people who wanted to ignore or erase your Blackness. But you can’t sit here and tell me you haven’t benefited from the systems of oppression you decry and your relative position to whiteness.”
He stares at me hard, and I realize this is the conversation wedefinitelyneed to have.
“I don’t deny any of that. In fact, the reality of my circumstances has been a slap to the face virtually every day of my life, Shae.”
Well, that makes me feel a bit like an ass.
“I’ll ask again, Shae. Do you want to go to Harvard? Because it really seems like you don’t.”
That bubbling feeling in my stomach shoots to my toes, then back up to my throat. I feel like I’m going to hurl everywhere.
“You remember when we were stuck in that elevator?” he asks suddenly, and I tilt my chin down in a sharp affirming jerk. Of course I remember, how could I forget?
“We talked about a lot of things, but once you started telling me about mPOWER, it was like you didn’t want to stop. And that’s not me saying that I minded, but more to show you a very blatant fact: You’re an entrepreneur, Shae. It’s your vocation to build businesses, to create something out of nothing. Theory doesn’t light you up. Getting your hands dirty and beinginit does.”
I take a step back, shaking my head as I wrap my arms around myself. Maybe if I get far enough away from him, I won’t have to listen to his world-exploding declarations.
He continues, despite my retreat.
“You’ve never spoken about economics with the same energy you do when talking about the companies you’ve helped. Hell, you were like a supernova when working on our presentation. Sure, I did a lot of the number crunching and data validation, but the concept for BronzeLight? The premise that got us an A when Hansennevergives As? That was all you. You lovethatworld, Shae, and in the time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you excited, truly excited, about the idea of Harvard. So why are you denying yourself? Why are you following a path that you obviously don’t want to take?”
I side-step the question.
“Who do I look like to turn downHarvard?It’s Harvard!”
Storm blinks at me as if he can’t believe I’m completely ignoring the harsh truth he’s thrown out.
“I know some real idiot assholes that go there,” he says, his words stiff. “And, I have to point out that you’re not answering my question. Not with words, at least.”
Enough. This is enough of this argument.
“Goddamn it, why are you making this so hard?” I snap. My teeth click together when I finish the sentence, and I resist grinding them.
He blinks a few times with a strange expression before he looks down at the floor, his jaw tensing.
“You know what, it’s fine. I…sorry,” I say.
Smile.
I hope it doesn’t look like I’m baring my teeth.
“Shae, c’mon, let’s not let this ruin the nig?—”
“Don’t worry about it, Storm,” I press. I give him one hard look, noting how his shoulders slump as he runs a hand over his face, then I turn away.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169
- Page 170
- Page 171
- Page 172
- Page 173
- Page 174
- Page 175
- Page 176
- Page 177
- Page 178
- Page 179
- Page 180
- Page 181