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23

Bianaca

Iscoured the hallways, Kace’s name on the tip of my tongue. However, after an hour of futile searching, I conceded defeat. There were other things, more important things, for me to worry about

A monster lurking in the school, for one.

Evil, murdering professors, for another.

My feet found themselves in front of a familiar door, and my heart stopped. Plummeted.

What was I doing here? In front of Beau’s door, of all people?

Even as those thoughts flickered in my mind, I knew I needed to talk to him. I needed to set things straight with my best friend. Innately, I knew that he would never leave me. He had been there for me through it all—through the highs and lows. The elation and the consequential depression. Never once had he left my side, even when I pushed him away. It was illogical for me to believe he would leave me now.

I knew, in the deepest recesses of my mind, that his secrecy was some misguided attempt to protect me.

Hesitating, I lifted my hand to knock on the door. I was trembling, fear cementing my feet to the ground. The last thing I wanted to do was hear his excuses, his reasoning, when it still felt as if every action of his was a betrayal. Despite my tumultuous thoughts, I knocked on the door.

My hands were covered in a sticky sheen of sweat, and I wiped them inconspicuously on my pants. Kace’s words echoed back to me.

“He loves you.”

It was so easy to believe it was true, to believe what I had always wanted to hear. But I was a pessimist by nature, and something like this was too good to be true.

Beau opened the door a crack, his eyes widening slightly, almost imperceptibly, when he saw me. He moved a step closer, his large body nestled in the tiny door opening. I opened my mouth to yell at him, to fire accusation after accusation at my best friend, to demand why he had kept such life-altering secrets from me. However, none of that came out of my mouth.

“I love you,” I sputtered. My chest was as taut as the strings on a violin, but my stupid mouth forged ahead. “Oh my God. That just came…it just came out! I love you. See? I did it again. I just…I…I love you. And not like a sister loves a brother or a best friend loves a best friend. I love you, Beau. I’ve been trying not to say it. I’ve been swallowing the words because…why would I say them? What’s the point of saying something like that? You’re my best friend, and I don’t need your love that way. But I do. I love you. You’re a disease. From the first fucking look, you infected me. You’re inside me, Beau, and I don’t think I want you to leave.” Tears slid down my cheeks as I absently rubbed at my heart. The damn organ was still beating even as I felt like I was going to die. “I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t even breathe because you contaminated my lungs with your…gah. I love you. I. Love. You.”

My confession settled in the air like a hundred pounds of cement being pooled over our heads. His eyes were wide in his face, practically saucers, and his hand was white from how tightly it gripped the doorframe. He blinked rapidly, attempting to gather some clarity I imagined, before he took a step closer.

I held my breath, my turbulent emotions running rampant within me.

I hadn’t intended to open myself up to him as I did, to make myself that vulnerable, but there was no denying the rightness of my words. Somehow, someway, Beau had crept into my poor, desolate heart.

And then the fairytale shattered, imploded.

“Beau!” a feminine voice cooed. “Who are you talking to?”

The breath I’d been holding sputtered out. Suddenly, it hurt to breathe. Everything hurt. The pain started in my chest, the tightest of clenchings, before moving downward. I trembled at the sheer intensity of my emotions.

Beau stared at me, horror-struck, as a familiar blond female danced to his side, hooking her arm with his. Her hair was disheveled, and the first few buttons of her white blouse were undone.

Maria glanced at me coldly.

“Hi, Bianaca. What are you doing here?”

Beau didn’t respond to her, focused on me.

But I couldn’t look at him. Not anymore. Not after I had spilled my entire heart to him, and he had so carelessly crushed it. In a matter of moments, he had killed me. Destroyed me.

Anger, hurt, and heartbreak all raged within me, my mind unable to settle on one emotion. After a long moment of tense silence, I made myself look up, meet Beau’s eyes, and whisper, “I see.”

And then I was running. I had never considered myself a coward before, but I couldn’t get away from him fast enough. My heart beat erratically in my chest, the tiny organ feeling like it weighed a thousand pounds. It threatened to break free of my ribcage and shatter into a thousand pieces. Still, I ran. Tears blurred my eyes, a hazy sheen obscuring my vision. Behind me, I heard Beau cry my name. His voice was raspy, hoarse, but the anguish was clear.

I found myself outside, sunlight high in the sky.

Spinning in a wide circle, I let out a scream.