Page 22

6

Beau

Bianaca must’ve forgotten that I was a light sleeper. Maybe she did know, at least innately, and chose to ignore it.

Standing in the shower, beneath the blistering water, I allowed my mind to wander back to that moment less than an hour ago. Out of my peripheral in my tiny twin bed, I watched her hand tease her breast, her nipple a beaded bud as she rubbed it into submission. When her hand slid down to her panties—my favorite red ones—I thought I was going to come right then and there. Her tiny gasps. Those breathy moans. That damn mewl.

It hadn’t even bothered me that Tanner had also been privy to her little show. I was too turned-on, too aroused, to think clearly. He could’ve been fucking her, and it would’ve been okay with me.

My hand dropped to my rock-hard cock as I stroked myself. Was it wrong for me to think of my best friend in such a way? Maybe. Possibly.

Perhaps that was why I was so accepting of Tanner being with her. I knew I would never get the chance—she only considered me as a friend—so I had to live vicariously through others.

I pictured her dewy features, heart-shaped face, and golden hair cascading around her shoulders. Her breasts heaving beneath her thin shirt.

Breathing heavily, I exploded, the image of her plump, pink lips around my cock sending me over the edge.

God, I loved her. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone like I loved her. Her smile was capable of lighting even the darkest of days. And when she laughed? I was a goner. From the first moment she teased me, I knew it was her. Only her. I would love her until the day I died.

From afar, of course. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe she loved me back. She had only ever looked at me like she would a friend, a best friend, and I knew she needed my friendship more than she needed a boyfriend. I could be what she needed, though, even if it killed me.

I was dying, ever so slowly. But it was worth it. To be a part of her life…I could want for nothing.

Turning off the shower, I toweled myself off and dressed in the standard school uniform. The shirt clung to my muscles, and I purposefully left the top few buttons undone. I knew that she had a strange fascination with my skin. Don’t ask me why.

Quickly, I raked my fingers through my wet blond hair and stepped into the hallway from the community men showers.

I let out a gasp when I ran into a familiar figure.

Mary…or something. I couldn’t recall her name. She was pretty in an elfin sort of way with light blond hair, as thin and as straight as golden wheat, and large eyes.

“Beau!” she said cheerfully, placing a hand on my arm. I tried not to flinch at the initiation of contact.

I smiled and nodded at her in greeting.

She was pretty enough, I would admit, and I would also admit that I would’ve fucked the shit out of her only a year before. Nothing romantic, but in a desperate attempt to get over my unreciprocated feelings for B.

And then I decided—fuck it. It wasn’t fair to these girls, and it sure as hell wasn’t fair to me. Since I came to that conclusion, I had turned into a damn monk.

“How’s your room? Your roommate? Your roommate is Tanner, correct?” Her voice took on a wistful quality when she said his name. “Have you met his other friends yet? Aiden and Kace?”

Her cheeks heated, and I tried to smother the snort that threatened to escape. No doubt, she was thinking about a big-ass orgy with the three of them and her in the middle. I got it. I did.

The dudes were hot. If I wasn’t desperately in love with B, I might’ve even propositioned them. I wasn’t gay or anything, but I liked sex. A lot. Boys. Girls. It didn’t matter to me…anything to help me take the edge off.

Poor Mary…Marie…failed to realize that they had their sights set on another girl. My girl. I wasn’t sure the guys had even realized it as of yet.

Smiling in what I hoped wasn’t a condescending manner—I didn’t want to be a dick—I moved to walk past her. Either she was oblivious and didn’t get my hint, or she was persistent.

“My room is a few doors down,” she said chirpily. I smiled once again and nodded. Her eyes heated at my acknowledgment, and I felt a pang of guilt. She would expect me to come visit her, would hold onto that hope, and would be disappointed when her fantasies never came to be.

Finally—finally—I stopped in front of B’s room, hand tightening on the doorknob.

“Is this your room?” she asked, fluttering her lashes in what she probably suspected was a seductive manner. Frankly, she looked as if she was seizing.

Once again, I gifted her with my customary nod and smile. Fake as shit. Only someone who truly knew me would note the tightening of my eyes and the smile that doubled as a grimace. I had learned how to articulate every word through my features, how to tell a story through look alone. However, I also learned how to blank my expression until my true emotions were unrecognizable. Unattainable, as B once told me. I hid behind these impenetrable walls that not even cannons could conquer.

I didn’t bother to tell a giddy Maria that this was B’s room. At the end of the day, I had no doubt I would spend more time here than in my own. Curled around B’s dainty body. The pervasive scent of her honeysuckle body wash enticing me. The soft skin beneath my fingers.