Page 78 of Best Kept Vows

Dr. Ryan considered me carefully and asked, “Sebastian, you assumed Lia would always be there through every late night, every missed milestone. And now that she’s put space between you, you’re realizing you took that for granted. How does that feel?”

I had swallowed the urge to defend myself, to point out that I had been working for us, for our future, for the family legacy. But that was the thing about therapy—it didn’t let you lie to yourself.

“Like I said, I feel like an asshole.” I took Lia’s hand in mine.

We did that from time to time during our sessions—reaching for each other’s hand, especially when one of us had tosay something hard. And every time Lia did it, I felt a rush of relief. It meant she still cared. It meantwestill mattered.

“I put my family…my birth family before the one Lia and I built. What future was I building when I wasn’t present for the life I already had? The one I let slip through my fingers?”

Lia shifted beside me in the car, pulling me from my thoughts.

“The kids were happy.” She was referring to the call we’d had with Tristan and Ada the day before.

I glanced at her, a small smile tugging at my lips. “Yeah, they were. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Tristan that relieved.”

He’d actually said, ‘About time, Dad’ when I told him that I was selling the company and that their grandfather had signed off on it.

“We’re all proud of you,” Lia murmured.

Ada had also said she was proud of me. That had made me feel ten feet tall since I knew I’d plummeted in her eyes when I had forgone Lia’s graduation ceremony for work and to have lunch with Jane.

Remembering that day still made me want to kick myself because I was sure Lia thought about that day as well, and felt her heart break again and again. I could see now, with such clarity, what I hadn’t been able to see before: I had been hurting my wife, plain and simple. The woman I’d vowed to protect and care for was neither being protected nor cared for by me.

I moved my hand from the gearshift to squeeze her bare thigh under her sundress.

That was another thing that I’d screwed up—I’d beentoo tired to be intimate with my wife, to hold her close, forge the bond we had. Sex wasn’t just about getting off. It was about loving each other, having fun, staying…connected.

“Thank you, baby. For the first time in a very long fucking time, I feel like we’re on the same team.”

She let out a deep exhale. “The kids and I have always been on your team, Sebastian.”

“I know.I’mthe one who wasn’t playing on the right team,” I admitted.

She put her hand on mine and squeezed.

We drove in silence, but her actions screamed her commitment to being there for me.

“You know it’s a little creepy to see how”—Lia waved a hand around when we got out of the car—"well,madeup everything is, considering the money problems the family has.”

I nodded.

“It’s going to crush her to sell the place,” Lia continued.

“Just her ego, baby,” I replied flatly.

Lia’s expression turned sympathetic. “You don’t have to…say such things. I know how much you care about Dolly.”

Fuck!This was why I was a bigger asshole than even I admitted. This woman was full of grace, and I’d treated her with the kind of neglect that should have me flogged.

I pulled her to me at the front door and cupped her face so she’d look into my eyes, see my truth. “My mother has always been someone I didn’t want to upset, not because Icare abouther, but because I don’t want the drama that comes with her being in a snit.”

Her brown eyes seemed to search mine, as if she wanted to be convinced of what I was saying. I brushed my lips against hers, letting her warmth and scent permeate me, calm me.

“I chose to be drama-free—nother.Thatwas selfish.”

Lia put her hands on mine against her face, and her lips quivered. “You made me feel like I wasn’t enough.”

If there was a hell, I was living it.