Page 16 of Beautiful Sinner

“Your mom?” I ask with a smile.

“She’s… gone now. If I could be anywhere in the world, it would be with her. Just for one more day.”

“That’s beautiful. I never really knew my parents. A little but not much. They died when I was five. They were killed.”

“I’m sorry, Julia. I had heard of the story but…”

“I take it your mom is…”

“Dead?” He clears his throat. “Yes. And I miss her every fucking day. Look at me. Getting sappy over my mom.”

“It’s ok. I sometimes cry when I think of my parents. I think of how I’ll never have my dad walk me down the aisle or have my mom hold me when I’m sad. When I got my first period, Viktor had no idea what to do. He pretty much threw a box of pads at me and called it a day.”

Matteo chuckles. “We men are hopeless.”

“You really are.”

We fall silent, just staring at each other again. Neither of us dare to move to do… what? Kiss? That’s crazy. I barely know him. I can’t even think about kissing him.

But to give my first kiss to Matteo would not be a bad thing at all.

We each lean in closer to each other.

Then Matteo sits back. “You should go.” His expression is closed off. No longer the open and soft man he just was a moment ago.

I cant deny the sting in my chest at his sudden change in demeanor but I also can’t blame him. We cannot be doing this. It’s selfish of me to have a little crush on him. This will only get him killed.

“Thank you for the ride.” I quickly get out of his car and sneak back to my house. It’s easy to get inside from the backyard. I wait for the current guard to walk away and then I rush to the house and tiptoe back to my room. I change into my pajamas and dive under the covers.

I’m amazed of what I just did tonight. I snuck out, went to Dante’s club, had a wonderful conversation with Matteo, and now I’m back home like none of it happened.

I get no sleep that night.

Inessa eyes me over the breakfast table. “You look different this morning.”

Viktor is has his fork halfway to his mouth when he stops and squints at me. “Julia? She looks the same to me.”

“I’m the same me,” I say into my pancakes. Inessa has always been observant, which is something I’ve appreciated in her, but right now, it’s only going to hurt me. The truth about what I did last night cannot come to light.

“You look tired, actually,” Viktor says.

“It’s rude to say that to a woman,” I remind him.

“Then it’s a good thing you’re my sister.” He offers me a small smile. “But in all honesty, you do look tired. Are you?”

“I didn’t sleep much last night. I’m not sure why. I think worry over this war you’re in.”

Viktor’s smile promptly disappears. “Well, that’s not going to stop anytime soon. Grigori has already called this morning, wanting to see you again. I reminded him that I never agreed to a marriage match.”

“I’ll see him,” I blurt out. Maybe if I play along then Viktor won’t look too closely at me and my own actions.

“Are you sure? I know you don’t want to marry him.”

“But if he can help you in your war, then that’s a good thing. I’ll talk to him at least. I was raised to be polite.”

He hesitates, then nods. “I’ll call him and have him come over again. But I don’t want to give him the wrong idea.”

“It won’t. I’ll just gently ask him to provide you money without having to marry me. I can be very charming.”