Page 8
“No, it’s not the right mood for the people you invited. They just want something stupid and light and fun. Get Con Air.”
“And maybe something old and funny to go with it?”
“Stay safe. The Thin Man. Or something straight-up funny. His Girl Friday.”
“Can I have both?”
“Will you go away?”
“Watch my dust.”
“Fine,” he says. “You know where the regular stuff is. I’ll get the Vincent Ward.”
While I’m pawing through the forties comedy section, Alessa—Candy’s girlfriend—walks out of the back room, a pile of invoices in her hand. She stops for a second. Probably wondering why the shop is empty.
I call over to her, “Hi. How are you?”
She looks at me, then to Kasabian. He raises his eyebrows a little and she turns back to me.
“Hi, Stark,” she says. The way she stomps upstairs lets me know that she knows I’m the reason the store is empty.
Kasabian laughs.
“Man, she loves you.”
“Fuck off. I’m over here trying to be a person.”
He shakes his head, still laughing.
“Making friends everywhere you go.”
I think Alessa hates me most because of my old connection to Candy. But I’m not trying to steal her away. I’m no homewrecker, and I wish I and Alessa could at least be in the same room together for two minutes. But she’s only seen me in a crisis. Killing people and encouraging Candy to go Jade. I know she doesn’t want that for Candy. I’m nervous about her coming to the party. So I’ll be extra polite, wear a clean shirt, and try not to set anything on fire.
Kasabian takes my discs and puts them in a bag. I grab it and head for a shadow.
He shouts, “Try not to murder anyone between here and the wall.”
After I drop the discs at the flying-saucer house, I step through another shadow and come out in the parking lot of a giant supermarket at the corner of where Sunset and Hollywood Boulevard meet. Back in the silent-movie days, when this area was wide open land, they shot some big epics here. This corner is sacred ground. I was in one of these stores a year or so ago but chickened out and ran away. Not this time. I’m going to shop the hell out of this place. I head into the grocery, all innocence and optimism. Grab a cart and venture into the consumer wonderland.
I’m not ten steps inside when a rent-a-cop starts following me. She doesn’t have a gun, but I spot pepper spray and a Taser.
This again. I want to leave but don’t. I’m tired of feeling like I don’t belong anywhere. Besides, I don’t have to do any hoodoo on the cop or anyone else. I have a pocket full of hundreds and I know the one most important rule in L.A.: money is the magic anyone can do. So, I stand my goddamn ground.
There’s a young guy in a spotless apron giving out free samples near the frozen food aisle. I stroll up with the cop behind me as discreet as a pink elephant.
The guy with the samples flashes me the smile of a true believer and without pausing says, “Care to try a sausage?”
I pick up one of the little meat discs with a toothpick and pop it in my mouth.
“It’s our brand-new extra-spicy chorizo with super jalapeños and a generous layer of pepper jack in the middle.”
I watch him as he talks, like he’s the most interesting guy in the world. Over his shoulder, I can see the cop’s reflection in the glass doors of the frozen food cases. But as I stand there, fascinated by every word falling out of Sausage Man’s face, the cop gets bored and wanders off. The truth is that the sausage is pretty good.
I say, “What’s a super jalapeño?”
He falters for a second.
“It’s like a regular jalapeño . . . only super.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8 (Reading here)
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169