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“I always wanted to pet a tiger.”

Beyond the gate an elephant walks by, followed by a small group of people in tuxes and evening gowns. Like in the freeway stunt, they’re all wearing blindfolds. Allegra follows my gaze and spots the maniacs.

“There they are!” she shouts.

She looks at me sternly.

“Take me inside right now, Stark, or I will never forgive you.”

“What if you get eaten?”

“You won’t let that happen.”

“Honestly, I’m annoyed. I just might.”

She gets her face close to mine.

“You’d do it for Candy. Do it for me. Inside. Now.”

“And you want me to find a tiger for you too?”

“No. We can find the tiger together.”

I want to take her away from here, but I know she’ll never forgive me if I do. I’ve felt bad sometimes about her having to play doctor and missing all the fun. I just didn’t think she’d want to punch a gator this badly.

I take her hand and pull her into a shadow.

We come out just inside the front gate.

The animal party goes on and on. Otters hop along the grass edges of the walkway. Bats swoop for insects in the glaring overhead lights. Some woman in a hoop-skirt gown like a TV Southern belle grabs a fistful of porcupine quills when she trips. The porcupine takes off, more scared of the crazy screaming lady than she is of it. A gaggle of rich twerps in identical blue pinstripe suits get body-blocked into the trash cans by a couple of baby elephants playing chase. That’s the best thing I’ve seen tonight.

“One of these idiots is going to get trampled.”

Allegra says, “Nah. They must have minders or spotters or off-duty cops watching their backs.”

“I doubt it. Like I said, they’re nuts.”

She pulls me out into the parade.

“Come on. Tiger me and we can go home.”

“I still don’t think petting one is a good idea.”

“Do some magic for me, damn it. Make it think it’s a pussycat for a minute.”

“For a minute.”

“That’s all I need.”

So, this is what the rich do nowadays. In the seventies it was all coke and sex parties. Now it’s haute couture and death kicks. Why not? The rich have always had the dumbest ideas and enough cash to make them come true. I have no doubt that by the end of the night one or two of these creeps will pay off a zookeeper to let them take an endangered species home for a good old-fashioned monkey cookout.

I let Allegra pull me out into the melee.

In just the few minutes we’ve been here, the animals seem to have become more on edge. I think being out of their cages was weird enough that they were happy just to run around. Now they’re settling back into their normal behavior. Especially the predators. Nearby, the wolf pack takes down a zebra. The animal’s screams are awful and the scent of blood fills the dry night air. Startled by the sound, a small group of fancy maniacs bolts and tries to get away. Instead they fall all over each other like Keystone Cops, which would be funnier if a lot of them weren’t crying and punching each other.

I say to Allegra, “You still want to be here?”

She looks nervous but says, “We’ve come this far.”