Page 10

The text stares back at me like a flashing neon sign. My thumb hovers over the keyboard, itching to type something snarky, but I stop myself. What’s the point? Instead, my eyes drift to my screensaver. It’s a picture of us from last fall, him grinning like an idiot while I tried to pull him into a proper pose.

God, Ilikedhim. I did.

But every time things got close; I froze. Not because I didn’t want it — I wanted it so badly it physically hurt — but because…

I swallow hard, locking the screen and stuffing the phone into my bag. I can’t go down that rabbit hole again.

It’s not like Aaron could’ve given me what I want anyway.

No guy like Aaron would.

My face burns as memories of the romance books I’ve devoured in secret flash through my mind. The kind where men do things that make normal people run the other way. I don’t know when it started, but somewhere along the way, I figured out what really got me going wasn’t soft kisses and gentle touches.

It was rough. Dirty. More than one guy at a time.

I want to be tied up, fucked hard, teased until I’m crying—

I close my eyes.

Depraved. That’s what I am. A fucking freak.

Aaron didn’t deserve to deal with all that. And there’s no way I could’ve told him. Hell, I can barely admit it to myself.

By the time we pull up to the airport, my stomach is in knots. I tip the driver, grab my bag, and make my way inside.

The check-in line moves slowly, giving me too much time to think.

This break up is for the best. We both knew it was coming, and the drunk situation from last night was his last hurrah. He wanted to make things work long distance, but I knew that we wouldn’t last. Aaron was never the guy for me. I just wish last night didn’t happen.

When I finally make it to the gate, my boarding pass has me stopping in my tracks. First-class?

I blink, flipping the paper over like it’s got a mistake. Nope. First-class.

Smiling, I pull out my phone and shoot my dad a text.

You didn’t have to upgrade me but thank you. Love you so much.

He responds almost immediately.You deserve it. Safe travels, kiddo.

My chest tightens. He’s always been this way. Always taking care of me, always making sure I’m okay, even when I don’t ask.

Boarding goes smoothly, and the moment I step onto the plane, I feel the difference. Plush seats, more legroom than I know what to do with, and a glass of champagne waiting on the armrest.

“Nice,” I whisper, settling in.

I reach for the champagne and down it in one gulp.

The Uber rolls to a stop in front of the house, and suddenly it feels like I never left. I’m hit with a wave of nostalgia. This house is exactly the same with its white siding, blue shutters, the basketball hoop in the driveway that hasn’t seen a ball in years. The porch light flickers like always, even though I’ve told Dad a million times to fix it. It’s not that I thought all of this would be different, but it’s odd returning home. Everything is the same, but I’m no longer the same person I was when I left.

I drag my two suitcases up the steps, keys jangling in my hand. Inside, the air smells like lemon cleaner and wood polish, familiar and warm.

“Dad?” I call, but the house is quiet.

Figures. He’s probably still at practice.

I leave my suitcases in the entryway and take a slow look around. Everything’s exactly where it’s always been. The framed pictures on the wall, the old coat rack by the door, even the stack of mail on the kitchen counter.

The family photos catch my eye, and I linger there for a moment. There’s one of me at five, grinning with two missing teeth, sitting on Dad’s shoulders at the beach. Next to it is my parents’ wedding photo.