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“I’ve been asking myself the same question for every day of the last two years. I think because I didn’t have anything to give her. At least in the way of feelings. I shut down completely. I couldn’t give her what she needed, which was a father and love. Maria was there. She was always there helping me and when she developed a bond with my little girl, I sensed things had to change. When I had an offer to come into the Santorelli organization, I thought it might bring back my soul. I was wrong.”

I had no idea how to address that. “Are you going to tell her now that she’s here?”

“That’s up to Maria. I won’t take Jessica away from her, not after all she’s done and everything that’s happened. I might be a bad man, but I’m not evil. At least I don’t think I am.”

“You’re not a bad man, Alejandro. You’re just… You just lost your way.”

“That is true. Sadly, I’m not certain I’ve found it.” He stared into his drink. “There are some things you need to know.”

“Okay. What things?”

“First of all, I don’t like that I placed your life in harm’s way. That was not a good decision. Not that you didn’t hold your own. You’re one hell of a woman, but I can’t do that. I just can’t stand the thought of losing you. So that’s not going to happen again.”

I wasn’t going to fight him on it. That would serve no purpose at this point. I remained quiet, hoping he would finally confide in me.

“I think the raid on Maria’s home was DEA.”

“The Drug Enforcement Agency? Why would you say that?”

“First of all, both syndicates are selling illegal weapons. Now, Santorelli has a larger share of the market so naturally, they’d come after the leaders. Second, both organizations used to run drugs. That placed them on the radar a long time ago.”

“Okay. I can buy that. But why target you?”

He rolled his glass from one hand to the other. “I think there’s a leak in at least one organization. Now, no one knows this that I’m aware of, but Santorelli has made arrangements should anything happen to him that I’ll step up as Don.”

“What?” I knew there was a remote possibility, but hearing it in motion was something else.

“Yes. He had legal papers drawn up that only Santorelli, his attorney, and I are supposed to know about, but I’ve begun to wonder if someone else found out.”

“Which makes the DEA hopeful you’re not as strong and wise.”

His chuckle was more like what I was used to. “Something like that. There are also other things happening that lead me to believe there’s someone on the inside supplying information to a third party.”

“Another mafia organization.”

“Yes. Now, not all the pieces are fitting together easily and I have additional questions, but those are my concerns. I don’t want Jessica growing up in the life any more than you want Gabriel to do so.”

“So what are you suggesting, that we defect?” I laughed.

He didn’t.

“I’m not suggesting anything, Carmella. It’s too early, but if they were DEA, I have a larger target on my back.”

I’d listened to what he’d said. I’d heard the words, but I still had questions. “Who are you, Alejandro? That’s not your name. When I said it in front of Maria, she rolled her eyes and appeared uncomfortable. Don’t worry, she really didn’t tell me anything.”

“She doesn’t know anything, Firesong. I purposely kept her in the dark.”

“Then who are you? I care about you more than I thought possible. I might even be falling in love with you, but if you’re here to destroy my family, I’m not going to allow that to happen. I just can’t. I won’t.”

The hard knock on the door was more jarring given the time.

We both looked at each other and he stood immediately, placing his drink on the table. He reached for his weapon, which he’d placed in his waistband, his shirt covering it. “Stay here.”

“I will.” I could almost admit I was terrified after what had happened only hours before.

When he left the room, I stood on shaky legs. Right now, I wasn’t entirely certain I wanted to know the absolute truth. If what I suspected was true, not only would my life be turned upside down, but I’d lose something and it would tear me into little pieces.

Alejandro, the man who’d awakened my soul.