Page 163
Story: Acolyte
She surfaced a moment later, gasping in a breath.
It was dark, the only light from the crystals flickering in the pool and peppering the rough-hewn rock that curved overhead. She had found this grotto early on, and it was still one of herfavorite places to come when she just needed to think. The water was warm, fed from a natural hot spring, and the air was fragrant. She could hear the roar of the rapids that fed into the palace like a distant growl, soft enough to be soothing.
“I know you’re there,” she said to the shadows. She wasn’t sure how, but she could feel him.
There was a soft huff, then Skye stepped away from his place in the arched open doorway. Taly looked him over. His shirt was clean but untucked. His hair was wet, as though he’d just showered. There was more color in his face than there had been that morning, and the limp was gone.
Noticing her assessment, he smirked, as if to say,See, I was right. Apparently, all a shadow mage needed to overcome even the most egregious of injuries was a few laps around the property, and she was going to remember that the next time he was moaning and whining and asking her to spoon feed him all so he could get a look down her shirt.
“Five minutes,” he said. His voice sounded strangely hushed as he came to stand by the edge of the pool, hands in his pockets.
“What?” Taly asked, treading water.
A shadow passed across his face. “You were underwater for five minutes,” he said too softly. “After minute three, I… But then I remembered...”
“Oh,” Taly mouthed silently. For a fey, that was hardly impressive. But for a human… “Sorry,” she mumbled.
He shook his head, watching as she swam closer. “Don’t be sorry. It’s just… all our lives, you’ve always been so much more breakable than me. It’s going to take me a little while to realign my thinking.”
Ah. That she could more than understand.
Taly reached the side of the pool and hoisted herself up, water sluicing off her body as she turned to sit on the stone ledge. Her blue and white swim costume was copied from a human design. Form-fitting but practical, though far from revealing, especially by fey standards—his eyes still sparked as they slid across her body. Slowly taking in the flash of her back, her bare legs. Brazenly lingering on every curve.
Her toes curled in the water. He gave her a wicked smile as he eased himself down beside her, as if to say that,yes, he knew the exact effect he had on her now, andyes, he planned to use it against her in the most delightful way.
Jerk.
Even in her head, the word lacked bite. She could hardly look at him without thinking of that mouth. Without wondering just how long it would be until it was back on her own. And considering that he was staring back at her with that same desperate hunger reflected in his eyes, with longing and lust and more love than she knew she deserved, she found that she didn’t really mind.
“I’m still human in my dreams,” she said when she remembered how to speak. His brows rose slightly. “Azura calls it a fabricated self-image. When we dream, we don’t appear the way we are but rather the way we perceive ourselves.”
“And you still perceive yourself as human?”
She shrugged. “I guess a part of me does,” she said softly, turning to stare at her toes in the water. “Or maybe… maybe I just don’t want to forget that face. Sometimes it feels like the girl that walked into the Vale relay died that night, and someone else came out in her place. I haven’t felt like me in a long time. After the Queen’s test, I… I’m not sure if I ever will again.”
She could feel Skye watching her as she leaned back on her hands, tilting her head so she could see the crystals flickering above. “You know,” he began, hesitant, “you can talk to me about Vaughn. If you want to, that is.”
Of course, he’d see that wound. Of course, he’d try to fix it.
“I don’t regret it,” she whispered up to those crystals that glistened like stars. “I feel like I should, and I keep waiting for the regret to finally settle in. But I don’t think it’s going to. I killed a man, and if given the opportunity, I’d do it again. If given a thousand second chances, I’m pretty sure I’d kill him every time, and I’d never feel regret.”
She turned her head, finding those green eyes in the flickering dark. “What does that say about me, Em?”
Skye sighed and looked to the water, then back to her. As if he couldn’t figure out just how to tell her that becoming fey had turned her into a monster incapable of remorse. That human girl would’ve felt regret. She had been kinder.
“I think…” he began, but then stopped.
She didn’t speak, waiting.
“I’ve had to kill a lot of shades in the past few weeks,” he said slowly, as though feeling out the words. “Some of them I knew; some of them looked like they could still be alive. But Carin and Asher—killing them felt more personal. More real, somehow. We traveled together, fought together. But if I found myself back in that room, I would kill them again. Without hesitation. They were going to hurt you. And me. I don’t think we shouldfeel regret for protecting ourselves against our enemies. Sadness at the necessity of taking life, perhaps. But not regret.”
Taly stared at him for a long moment, something easing in her chest. If he was right… Maybe she wasn’t tainted then. Wiser, yes. Aware of things about herself that she’d never wanted to know. But maybe the world wasn’t quite so black and white as it had once seemed. Maybe she could feel sadness but not regret, and maybe not every good thing about that human girl was gone.
Leaning over, she gave him a gentle kiss. “You got smarter while I was away.”
He snorted at that, kissing her again. And again. One hand lifted to tangle in the hair at the base of her neck. “Maybe I was always this smart, and you just didn’t listen.”
“No,” she said, her breathing growing ragged as his tongue began to tease at her bottom lip. “That’s not it.”
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